A
male
age
36-40,
*emma wattson
writes:Hi, I need some advice, I hope you will respond to it, ok here goes. I'm speaking to a guy on phone who I haven't really met in person. I started speaking to him on facebook, he added me as a friend because he knew my sister and her friends. He's currently studying at Birmingham University and I'm at Bradford Uni, but he lives in Bradford. Well I've promised him that we will meet each other on his birthday he has planned a lot, we also decided that we will have sex that night as well but he says he's not going to force me into anything which I understand because I wouldn't do anything that I don't feel comfortable with. Well his really good friend is also at Bradford Uni who has confessed to him and me that he likes me, but for some reason now the guy that I chat to on the phone doesn't want any one including my sister to know that we chat or that we are planning on having sex or even meeting each other on his birthday. I'm getting a bit confused now, does he just want to have sex with me, or is he afraid of what my sister and his friend that likes me will say. He did say that if we get to the stage that we need to tell everyone we will but not at this moment. I chat to him every night on the phone for the past 1 month before that it was just on facebook, I still speak to his friend on MSN but only for a small amount of time. I don't know what to do, for some reason I feel that I'm going to end up feeling hurt because he's never going to be there for me, he can only see me like twice in a month when he's down for the weekend but even then he's in his 4th year medicine which means he needs to commit to his studies so I know he won't have enough time. I'm confused because I don't know where I stand. I do like him a lot but sometimes I think that he is with someone else and just wants to keep me on the side just for sex maybe. I want to tell my sis cuz I don't hide anything from her and this is really important. Can you please help with any advice, should I just not speak to him from now on, am I getting myself into a hopeless realtionship? ThanksGemma
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male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (20 July 2007):
First off, I wonder what he has to hide from his family or your's. From the little that you have said, and a lot that his genitals have said. You would be a fool to play with the fire of any man's, go no where, sexual desire. And you are going to get emotionally and sexually burned, If you remain in that dead-end relationship. If he would use your body just to sate his sexual desire, I'm sure that you aren't the first one he has sowed his seed into,and then kissed them off. So go with your mind, not your heart, hearts can mess us up big time quite often.
A
female
reader, mary-lee  +, writes (20 July 2007):
 Can you trust your sister? if you can you need to talk to her about this guy! you need to know as much about him as you can, including if he has a g/f, before you go any further.
i think you are just heading to heart break hell if you keep talking to him. as you said you will barely get to see him anyway, i bet you deserve more than that!
i believe you are getting into a hopeless relationship, it always goes bad if he wants to keep it quite! you should probably stop talking to him!
Love always Marylee!
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (19 July 2007):
 I think you should just try and forget about this guy and not speak to him again.
Maybe he does not want you to say anything to your sister because he knows damn well that they know he is seeing someone or something and it would get back.
I also think that he told you if you were to be together then people could know but just not yet, because if you think there is a chance that you will be a couple you are more likely to have sex with him.
Like you say you would not get to see him much anyway, so leave it at that.
Take care.xx.
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