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anonymous
writes: a girl i like offered to teach me how to dance. she told me she'll tell me when we can start. few days later i asked, she said she'll tell me. again i've talked to her online yet she still hasn't told me. i dont want to keep asking.this would me my best chance to be close to her and lead to better friendship and i would eventually ask her out!so should i keep askin her? shall i ditch dance and ask out on date? i dont want to scare her off! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2007): Yeah, just forget the dance thing. She may be a good dancer, but she may be shy about being a "dance teacher", especially with you. Understandable, if she really likes you. She may be "old fashioned" enough to feel the bloke (you) should take the lead in the dating, the where and when, etc. Just let her know that the dance thing is not that important, but you would still like to see her. But don't let it be thought that the dance was just a ploy (phony excuse). Just proceed normally. You have already got the aquaintance thing, now go to the friend thing. What kind of music does she like to lsten to/dance to. Is there a difference? Get her talking about herself. Tell her about yourself (I hope you have SOME interests worth talking about). Does she like a particular type of cenima, actor/actress. Is there a good film playing somewhere near? Use your imagination, dude! I know you have one. You got the dance class going, didn't you? OK, so it didn't work out. It was only plan 'A'. Always have a plan 'B'. (wink) I think you can take it from here. Best wishes, Tom
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2007): Yeah, drop the dance lesson and just ask her out. Maybe she got a case of the "shys" about being a dance teacher. Let her know that is no big deal, but you would still like to see her. But don't make her think it was all a ploy (the dance thing) with you. Let her know you are interested in her. Not just because she is a good dancer. (The dance lessons may come later...Go slowly).
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reader, nologo  +, writes (1 April 2007):
 You should immediately stop asking her.
Who started this waiting game: you or she?
If she, this situation can last for quite a long period of time.
If you, take a pause for a week or two, then ask her out on date.
This may help you to get close to her and lead to better relationship.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2007): You should ask her about those dancing lessons again. If she's wishy-washy about it again, she might be giving you the hint that she has changed her mind.
As for asking her out, I suggest two possible scenarios:
1) If she does give you dancing lessons, you should take your time getting to know her before asking her out.
2) If she has changed her mind about the dancing lessons, you have nothing to lose. Ask her out. If she declines, you're back to square one but at least then you won't be in limbo.
Hope this helps!
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