A
female
age
36-40,
*uciW
writes:I have been with my boyf for 3 1/2 years and we live together. Although I do love him recently I have been feeling dissatisfied with the relationship. He is overly critical, to the point of sometimes making me feel bad about myself, insists on trying to do things in bed that he knows I don't like, and is not always considerate of my feelings. I hate his friends and he sits around getting stoned every single night. I am making him sound terrible, but he isn't - he can be sweet and thoughtful, we connect intellectually, he makes me laugh and most of the time we rub along together well-thats better than a lot of relationships. Recently I have developed feelings for someone else, and although nothing will happen with this other guy - he is completely unobtainable - this has never happened before and it really unnerves me. My boyf is noncommittal over marriage and babies, both things I know I want in the future (I am 25). Would you cut your losses now or hang on and see if these probs iron themselves out? I always thought we would be together forever and the thought of being without him makes me very sad. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2010): "He is overly critical, to the point of sometimes making me feel bad about myself, insists on trying to do things in bed that he knows I don't like, and is not always considerate of my feelings. I hate his friends and he sits around getting stoned every single night."I think you've answered your own question... he sounds like a prize! Time to cut your losses and move on.
A
female
reader, pancakes rule  +, writes (28 December 2010):
 He doesn't seem to make you feel very good about yourself, the relationship isn't moving forward, and you have feelings for someone else. All the signs are telling you to move on.
Fair enough, you can't get this other guy, but finding somebody else who makes you feel amazing would be so much better than this guy. But maybe try to not get into a relationship straight away, just have fun being single for a bit and see where the wind takes you. You don't have to find someone to settle down with just yet, you still have time.
Good Luck
xx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (28 December 2010):
I also say it's time to leave. The guy you're with really isn't that great at all to be honest. If he's s pothead who shows you little respect, never listens to you and is making you feel bad, then you can do better.
Find a much better guy. Don't just sit there thinking that this one will change. He won't.
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A
female
reader, shawtygottclazz  +, writes (28 December 2010):
I say cut ur losses and go. Your already 25, why waste more time in a relationship that clearly isn't going anywhere. You guys want completely different things in life and cant even meet each other half way, so why stay? If you started likng someone else is because you obviously see something you wish u could see in ur boyfriend. From what u have said not only u sound dissatidfied with the relationship but so does your boyfriend. i think u should call it quits, and look for someone that wants the same things you do and that makes you happy. dont settle for just good enough.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): I'd say cut your losses and go. He doesn't sound like that great of a guy. Even if he is good sometimes doesn't mean he's the best you can get. You're used to him because you've had him for so long. You've lost some interest obviously, or else you wouldn't have feelings for someone else, obtainable or not. And since you two disagree on marriage and children, chances are they won't happen. And if they do, then it'll make the relationship more strained and you both will end up resenting each other in the long run anyway. Find someone who you have more in common with and find real happiness.
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