A
female
age
30-35,
*ernicee
writes:hi,my boyfriend and i have been dating for 2 years now and we have a 10mnth old.he is not working and is not actively job hunting.he has paid once while out for a date but i had to pay half and i have been paying for dates and our baby's needs ever since and even buyin him something to wear at times.i told him that i would love to be spoilt sometimes and he said"there are much mo important things to do when i have money than to make u happy and feel special..."i am hurt and i feel like a fool.i told him that if thats the case and if thats the mentality that he has then there wont be a future for us.i dont want to lose him but i wont be able to succeed with my future plans of having a big house with a white picket fence and my husband and lil ones if things carry on like this.pls help me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010): Here's to a fresh start in 2011. Just be sure to file for child support. He owes that baby. Good luck!
A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (30 December 2010):
 You're welcome, and I'm glad it went smoothly. Best of luck going forward.
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A
female
reader, bernicee +, writes (30 December 2010):
bernicee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionall done...he is out of my life,except for my baby's ofcourse.and when i told him he said 'so be it'.so ja,shows how much he cares.thank u for the advice,i was really blinded by what i thought was love.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (29 December 2010):
Unfortunately, he will always be part of your life as you share a child. That's unavoidable. To get him out of your life you just kick him out. Tell him it's over because he doesn't contribute and you're sick of taking care of him and the baby. It's unfair and you deserve better.
Since you're paying all the bills, I assume your name is on the lease to your living arrangements? Some of those details are difficult to work out, so making those plans ahead of time is usually helpful. But most of all you just need to do it. Be firm about it being over and don't let him sway your decision.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, bernicee +, writes (29 December 2010):
bernicee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank u so much i think ure both right.i will definetly do that and mind you the guy is 28 yrs old.but how do i do it?how do i let him go?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): This guy is a loser. If he has told you flat out that he's not interested in making you feel happy or special, you have nothing. The best thing you can do for you and your baby is get rid of this bum and file for child support. He'll get a job, and he'll have to be financially accountable to your child.
There are plenty of men out there who would love to make you feel special even with having a baby. That's not an uncommon scenario. Also, the definition of father is not the same as sperm donor. My ex was raised by a wonderful man who was not his biological father, but the man he called Dad. Think of the example you want to set for your child. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (28 December 2010):
Well, he's a bum who's mooching off of you because you let him. He won't change because he has no motivation to change. I'd like to do nothing all day too. Sounds like a great life!
Want your dream house? I bet you'd be a step closer if you were only supporting your kid instead of your kid and a deadbeat BF. Just a thought.
You know what you've got to do, you just don't want to do it.
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