A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So here's the deal - I think I know the answer, but opinions count.I met this woman at her work - she's doing a job for me. However, through our interactions, we've hit it off and have actually gone out a few times, mostly in a friendly setting. Concerts, dinner, etc. It's about 60-40% in the me asking her, her asking me department. She did say that she wouldn't date a client because she wouldn't want something personal to get in the way of unfinished work - makes sense.Well, the work is pretty well done and we're still hanging out, texting, email, facebook, etc... I absolutely adore this woman's company. I think about her every day. She is classy, witty, beautiful... I don't think I need to go on to justify things - let's just say that I'm really nuts about her, both as a person and as a potential girlfriend or more down the road. I've never really felt this strongly about anyone before. She's told me that she's had some pretty bad heartache and trauma in the past - some very bad exes. I don't get the sense that she has baggage - she's come to terms with things in her own way and is a strong woman who can deal with emotions - but she has said that she's afraid of relationships now to a certain degree. She also has a lot on her plate with work/life/etc and I think she's really built herself up a nice life as a strong single woman. Now I'd love to just sit down and tell her just how fantastic I really think she is - to tell her that I'd love to just take her hand and see where it goes. But at the same time, i'm afraid of this ruining the friendship that we have and maybe even causing her stress (something I'd like to avoid obviously). I care about her.I'm not sure if I should be honest about my feelings and risk losing the friendship, or if I should just choke down my true feelings and just be happy with the status quo. My friends seem to think that she's into me, but obviously their (and your) opinion is a little marred by my own interpretation of events.Thoughts?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): I think she is quite happy with her life and good for her - being a strong independent woman. Enjoy her company, don't push it for now. Maybe in time something might grew. She has learnt what works for her. But the future may be different, so maybe play the long game, if you can wait.
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (2 December 2010):
 There is no reason why you cannot admit your feelings for her whilst maintaining a stable frienship with her. It works both ways. If you begin as friends who happen to have deeper feelings for each other, you can progress slowly, just to ease yourselves into the notion of actually dating and being with each other as something more. That way, she will get a sense of whether or not this is a mistake and you will get a sense of what it would be like if you two were actually blossoming into something else.
There is a lot of potential here, the artist merely needs to raise his brush towards the canvas to begin something beautiful and breathtaking. Specifically, your confession of deeper feelings. See where it goes. Good luck.
I hope that helps.
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