A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has a 17 year old daughter from his ex wife,he has introduced me to her and now that I know her I feel she's quite the brat!she has a very expensive taste just like her father!at the age of 17 she has been gifted a mercedes,an iphone 5,a dior bag,a chanel wallet,300$ worth hair extensions..and the list goes on!she had shortage of attendance due to the many classes she cut cause she wanted to sleep in..!but she doesn't drink,smoke or parties which is a good thing..but I just hoped her dad wouldn't gift her all this,teach her the value of money,she can be a better person but there is noone to control her! She has her mom under her control I'v heard her yelling at the mother,screaming at her,and her mother goes around doing her work,keeping her clothes ready for school,even getting her shoes and thruout this she yells at her,when I saw this the first time I was shocked,y would she let her daughter talk to her like that!I told her immediately she should respect her mother and not talk to her like that!she just acted like she dint care!is it ok for me to interfere in this matter or should I let my boyfriend and his ex wife continue spoiling this kid and not doing anything about it?
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ex-wife, his ex, money Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (6 March 2013):
 No, I do NOT think it's YOUR job at all to "discipline" this daughter of his.
Yes, she sounds like a spoiled kid, but if her parents can afford it why not? And if that is how THEY chose to raise their kid, who are you to tell them it's not right?? Would you like for some other women to tell YOU how to eventually raise your child?
Now if her Dad ASKS you what you think, I would be honest with him, other then that.. I think it's none of your business. I say this for two reasons, 1. you are "only" dating the dad, not the stepmom, 2. it comes off more as you being jealous of her then anything else. That is not a good way to build a relationship with his daughter or to be a decent GF to a father.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2013): Not many people like spoilt brats, but it is her life and her parents choice to spoil her. You really need to just get on with your life and try and keep well clear of this situation as it will all back fire onto you. although you appear to be only helping it is the wrong help ( but what is refreshing and in your favour, is how you stick up for the mother(your partners x) because more often than not it is often bad mouthing regarding X partners.
Back to original post, stay clear and let the daughter and parents make their own mistakes, just enjoy your freedom of not having to have this stress yourself YET!
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (5 March 2013):
She'll be 18 soon; at this point there's nothing you can do to change how they treat her. When she turns 18 you can tell your boyfriend that you think that it's her responsibility to buy expensive things if she wants them.
He can pay for her school or help her start a business by the sound of it, or she can find a rich boyfriend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWith age comes experience.but to know what's right or wrong I don't have to 30 or 40!@cindy her dad can gift her everything,I don't mind.!but this making her take everything soo lightly,her dad worked to reach where she is,if everything is handed to her it will affect her future!ok may be I'm no one to comment but I have a sister her age and we can afford anything she wants but we make it a point she gets when she desrves it,when she gets a good grade,for good behavior,I don't gift her thruout the year! She is not only rude to her mom,she doesn't respect the maids who work for her!and now she's hanging out with people who smoke a joint,and do alcohol!she told me about this and I told her she's too young to drink,may be at a legal age!I don't know I just can't keep quite cuz I see my little sister in her!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 March 2013):
 It was only a max of 8 and maybe less years since you were her age, I doubt if anyone would consider your opinion as an educated one even though you may be right. You'll keep it to yourself if you are smart. The parents are just that the parents. Maybe they feel guity about the divorce and are trying to make it up to the kid, who knows? Just curious how old is your boyfriend?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 March 2013):
 I think you should back off , pronto. It's not your job disciplining or educating somebody's else kid - in your current position of dad's " girlfriend " and a rather recent one, I guess, since you did not know the girl till recently . If you were his wife, and the girl were spending quite some time with you, well, maybe it would go down better, but just piping up and telling them that as educators they suck and got it all wrong for 17 years, really would not get you much appreciation and gratitude, plus it IS crossing a line, plus , yours may be a premature judgement, you don't know the girl that well, if she is going through a difficult moment, ( teenagers, you know ) , is having health,love or school problems, or even was acting up to your special benefit ( In general , there is no much love lost between a daughter of divorce and her dad's new gf )etc.etc.
Moreover, I notice that more than the girl missing classes or "talking back ", what bothers you is that her dad gives her stuff, and , pardon me, that really is not any of your concern, it's her father 's money, the guy is an adult, if he does that, it is because he WANTS to and , hopefully, can comfortably afford it, I don't think he'd appreciate you telling him what he can or can't give to his daughter.
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