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female
age
30-35,
*sk and you shall receive..(well,ill try my best)
writes: When me and my new boyfriend starting going out, I was optimistic and promised myself i won't fall for any lies and get hurt again like I did in the past with other guys. But another girl also liked him, (an old friend of mine), and she openly admitted it to himeven though she had a boyfriend of 5 years (who she threatened to break up with just to be with him). When my bf chose me, she ran back to her bf of 5 years. I even tried to talk to her and open up to maybe trust her again but she shun me out and ignored me and now whenever she sees me, she pretends like nothing happened and always smiles and compliments me. 6 months later, I am here writing this, because I have no idea if it's all in my head:She doesn't talk to him as much , and even told my bf that he shouldn't talk to her because i will get upset. But behind my back she still texts him, and sends him songs and clips etc. When I try to casually bring it up, that it all seems weird, he gets mad at me and says I shouldn't be worried and it's all in my head etc. etc.Is it??(may I add she's still with her same boyfriend and she never told him about what happened 6 months ago)
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2013): Your friend is playing head games with you. She is trying to create a rift between you and your bf by making you feel suspicious and corroding the trust in your relationship.She is no longer a friend. The fact that you know she texts your bf and sends him things seems to be open and apparent. He doesn't seem to be keeping any secrets about it. Your bf gets mad because he thinks you're giving her exactly what she wants. She wants you to be jealous and not trust him.It is sort of an ego boost that two girls are fighting over one guy. Let him know it isn't cool if he doesn't support you.You can tell her tell her you don't appreciate her disrespecting the boundaries of your relationship with your boyfriend. Your boyfriend really has no say about how you handle your friends. That's between you and her. Just don't get too worked up. That's exactly what she wants.He's right that you shouldn't confront her when you're out in public or on a date. You need to talk with her one on one. Your boyfriend has to support you and make you feel secure by taking you seriously when you express your discomfort with her contacting him behind your back. Or is he stupid? Your boyfriend shouldn't encourage her to go behind your back by accepting her text messages or gifts. He's giving her the tools to upset you, then playing them down. It all comes down to how you react around her. Just be cool and polite. No fake smiles and phony conversations. Find new places to hangout, and other couples to hang with.Ask your boyfriend how he would feel if you accepted text messages from other guys behind his back? If he wouldn't like it, then he should stop accepting them from her.
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