A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so i have a question, i'm not a very good looking person, put frankly, i have never and don't ever get much male attention at all, the only male attention i recieve is off fat and ugly guys(i know that sounds bad, looks shouldn't matter, but if it's in front of friends they all basically say to me "oh don't he's ugly")...i have only had a one night stand once, and that was while we were both drunk, and i was actually cheating on someone by doing that because he wasn't very nice and we split up days later.so right now i am on a work programme lined up by the job centre, and there is this guy on the same course as me, and there is a small group of us that have become good friends, we have lunch together, we got outside for cigarettes together, that sort of thing.but most recently, in the last 48 hours, this particular male friend has been advancing on me, i wouldn;t say he's extrememly good looking, but he is not at all ugly either, and actually not overly fat either.hes been sending me suggestive texts, basically asking to sleep with me, but saying that apparently his mates are texting it as a joke, but i don't believe him.he tells stories in class but there are lots of inconsistencies in his stories and i just have a gut feeling pretty much all of them aren't true...i know it will just be a bit of sex, but i still think about my ex even though i split up from him back in february, but we still talk everyday and i swear a a few times he has been on the verge of asking me back...so what should i do? i don;t know whether to just let myself go and have a bit of fun and sleep with this guy in class, or save myself just incase my ex comes back...
View related questions:
drunk, my ex, one night stand, split up, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Fredthefrog +, writes (23 May 2012):
Well, I think you should just go for it!! Go and have a good time but make sure he is 'the one'!! If your ex does come back then you can be cool and reject him if you want because he rejected you first!!! See how he likes it!
A
female
reader, agneeman  +, writes (23 May 2012):
 wow! There is just so much wrong with this post. You are in a bad place emotionally and if you do not get out fast you are going to get yourself so hurt... I can just see it.First of all, what the heck is wrong with you? The first thing you say about yourself is "I am not a very attractive person" I just want to shake you!!! How the heck can you just disqualify yourself like that?And the subtext is "if I were attractive I wouldn't do this but its okay, because I don't really matter that much"My heart is breaking here just thinking about you but I am also so angry with you for dismissing yourself like that. STOP IT.Secondly, your friends are shallow and you need to find new ones. My guess is they add to your feelings, heck, your intrinsic belief of your inferiority.Thirdly, sleeping with some one you don't want to sleep with to get back at some one for hurting you can not have made you feel good. I have a vagina too so don't tell me otherwise! You were hurt by boyfie, so you schtoomped guy 2 but it has actually left you feeling guilty and empty. And in the mean time, what you thought would feel like revenge actually feels more like boyfie coontrolling you, influencing you to do something you didn't actually want to do in the first place. Am I right?fourthly it won't be "a bit of sex" and you dont even want to do it. How do I know? Because a woman who wants to have sex with some one puts on some lingerie, some perfume and and gets to tearing his clothes off as soon as humanly possible. What she does not do is come here on Dear Cupid.com and ask if she should, in the secret hopes that some one would tell her not to.I'm just gonna come right out and say it, what is it with you English girls? Why do you seem to think that the only prerequisite to your sleeping with some one is "because he wants to" what about what you want?Yes, I do think you should save yourself, but not for an ex who just "may" come back. Frankly, your ex is not doing that for you right now, because even if I guy really loves you,(which your ex doesnt because if he did he would be with you right now) but even if a guy loves you deeply that will not stop him from having sex with as many girls as he can get his hands on during a break up. Cold hard truth and I pray you don't have to learn it the way I did.The person I think you should save yourself for is you. You are in such an emotionally damaging place right now and you have all the ingredients for just messing up so badly in that area that I think it would be better you to get away from sex, from dating from all those things for just a bit, and only to return to it when your measuring stick for how you value yourself is no longer what males think. And by a bit, I mean at least a year. I think you need a completely different focus in your life. I also think you need some good, Godly love right now. The last thing you need right now is sex. I am also pretty sure that you're not going to listen to a word I say until its too late.Please please dont sleep with this guy? People regret even sleepimg with people they WANT to sleep with, how do you think you're not gonna regret this? You dont want to do it...You really need to learn more about men and how they think. What your ex is really thinking while you're broken up and what guys really think about girls who are easy. How they tell their "special" girls about how meaningless you are to them....I know that struck a chord. I know you never grew up dreaming you'd be having casual sex with people whom you dont think much of, and who dont think much of you either. Not as glam as Hollywood makes it seem, huh?Please, please print my answer, you deserve so much more than you are giving yourself and you dont even believe it. You really touched me. I'm gonna be praying for you, you need much more help than can be given on this site. You sweet, precious thing. You break my heart...
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2012): where i say about the ex i want to get back with, that was a different ex, someone who was alot nicer to me
...............................
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (23 May 2012):
 I thought your ex wasn't very nice to you? So why would you be considering getting back with him???
If you want casual sex, then go for it, but be warned that it may become awkward between your friendship and even become a talking point of the group if he decides to blab, so it's your choice but could go sour.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (23 May 2012):
 If I am honest with you, completely disregarding your ex I don't think you should just go and have sex with this guy. At the end of the day do you really think it would just be a one off bit of fun? It sounds to me like he would just have sex with you and then probably brag to all of his friends, and this would result in you getting a reputation for yourself as easy, then no guy would take you serious because they would think that all you want is a bit of fun. You really do not want to be seen like that. I say have some more respect for yourself and your body and do not give sex to someone so easy. You need to gain some confidence in yourself.
...............................
|
