A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex bf and I broke up 2 weeks ago. I initiated, but he agreed so it was mutual. We want different things in the future and it's for the best. Our relationship was short-term. I don't want him back.I do miss talking to him and miss his friendship. And I want to have sex with him. He texted me several days after we broke up and we texted a bit. I texted the next day and we spent a couple hours texting. I brought up having sex and he thought we should, but that we could wait a bit to let feelings die down. I'll be honest... I miss talking to him and I really want to text him. But is it a good idea?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): I think you already know the answer to this one. If you have been mulling it over long enough to write it out here and then post it, obviously you're feelings are too deep to be able to achieve "meaningless sex" with your ex.
Give yourself time, buy a nice toy, and ignore these feelings you have.
After more than one of my own splits I found myself longing for my ex. It didn't matter if I initiated the break or if he did. I still wanted their company... their touch. ;) It's easy to go with what's familiar and throw away the idea of getting hurt again.
Do this one for yourself and put him aside. :)
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (26 January 2011):
 Most of the time people get hurt in situations like this, and it's usually the woman.
Sure, it's fine to have meaningless sex with someone you like and you know is a friend.
But.... your missing him already. What happens when he's too busy and on a date with someone else, to talk to you. What happens when he can text you very often because he's out with his mates, or he's spending time chatting up a new girl.
If your fine with being friends who sometimes have sex, with no guarantees, no commitments and the knowledge that he might dump you tomorrow, then this situation may suit you.
Problem is you miss him already.... you got strong feelings. Having casual sex with a man very rarely ends up in a serious relationship.
He's sensible enough to realise that there are still "feelings" involved. As long as you miss "HIM", and are not just thinking of "suitable man to have sex with", you are in danger of getting your heart broken and feeling used.
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A
female
reader, leylaness +, writes (26 January 2011):
 it doesn’t sound like the best thing to do right now. Sex should be when you are in a relationship that’s happy and stable. Right now neither of you know what you want or can make a decision without hesitation. While you are apart trying hang out with friends and forgetting about this whole situation (as hard as it sounds) don’t flirt or go out looking for a new guy just enjoy being single and having no one else to please but yourself. Once you get to know yourself as a single person again you will then understand what you want.
My best advice is to not do anything you are not 100% sure about or something you feel you might regret sometime down the line
good luck
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A
male
reader, Universe Man +, writes (26 January 2011):
Good, honest sex with someone you care about is never a bad thing. Bad things can come of it, like misunderstandings, hurt feelings, unfulfilled expectations, etc. For instance, you say you "miss talking to him." If pillow talk and quality time is part of the deal, make sure he knows it's not just a quick and dirty fuck. If you want to do it, make sure you are both on the same page about what you want out of it. Talk it out.
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