A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys I got some questions about birth controll, spacificly the pill. I am 18, and my girlfriend is 17 and will be 18 in a few months. I just told my parents about having sex and they reacted well. They said it would come some day, and want to make sure I'm being safe. My girlfriend is not on the pill and they really want her to be. Her parents on the other hand, do not know we are having sex, they are catholic and very religious so she won't aproach them. So I want to know about getting her on the pill without her parents knowing. I know about the family planning centers and all that and that's where we are planning on going. I just want to know if she can get it by her self at the age of 17? I'm 18 can I help her? My mom has offerd to help, can she help? Or is the only way for her parents to get involved untill she turns 18. I just want all the conditions with her being under 18 and with her parents and stuff.Aditional info-Both in highschool (don't say were to young, we just want to be safe and need help doing so)-we have been dateing for 10 months-my parents are ok with it (not encouraging us, but want us to be safe) and wana help, hers do not know and we don't want them to know, or have to help-live in PAThanks guys :)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): My point is that you do have a choice. You make it sound like the choice is to have sex with or without her parents consent. I'm saying you have the choice to wait a couple years until high school is over and you are adults on your own. Before you go "oh god, not abstinence", what you do when you are an adult is your business. As far as I know, her parents love her and want what is best for her. Just because they are religious, doesn't make their opinion any less valid. They have an obligation to look after her, not only because they love her, but it is their responsibility. In short, I guess I'm saying respect her, but also respect her parents.I have no doubt you and your girlfriend love each other. What will happen if you wait a little while longer, will you love each other any less? Sex is an important part of a relationship, but its not the only part.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 January 2011):
 I just want to add that going on the pill is a serious decision that should be made by your girlfriend and her doctor, not by you and your parents. There are side effects to hormonal birth control and it has been linked to some serious conditions. This is not some sugar pill that has no side effects, okay? You are altering her body chemistry and that may have some unpleasant side effects.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control/birth-control-pill-4228.htm
This is a medical decision so her health and well-being comes first, before anything else, okay?
Good luck to you!
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (26 January 2011):
 You're so welcome, as long as you both are of age and being safe that is really all that matters!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo the person who said about sneeking around her parents - yes we are sneeking around them, they are very religious and would flip. We have not rushed into anything, we both are each others first. Do I not like going behind her parents back? Absolutly, I hate the idea! But it seems we have no choice, we both like sex, not only because its fun, but because I can show her love.
And thank you tennisstar88, that is the exact answer I was looking for. Thank you very much for the info :D
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): I guess the thought of being responsible is there. The fact you can't talk to her parents shows you that it is wrong. Now you want advise to sneak around and lie to her parents?? Nice. Give it a little time until you are out of high school and on your own.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (26 January 2011):
Kudos to you for taking measures to have safe sex. The legal age of consent to have sex is 16 in Pennsylvania so she will be able to obtain birth control from a Planned Parenthood, or a women's clinic without her parent's permission. Most likely it will be free, or it will cost her a small charge.
I suggest that you set an alarm on her phone or yours, reminding her to take the pill. They will also offer her condoms, so I suggest you take those as well. The pill doesn't 100% prevent a unwanted pregnancy.
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