A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello all, I asked a question on here a while ago about a girl that had only a tendency to date "douchebag" guys, and now she's mine 3 yay! But someone incepted (planted an idea in my head, nerd reference) me recently..Last night me and my girlfriend talked about sex, with her previous boyfriends she put out within the first week, and I COULD have had sex with her on day 2 she said she wanted to because she was a pervert (I am too, lol) but it was a bad idea because we had only been dating 2 days.So now she says that she's not going to have sex with me for a very long time, like all through the summer she said we wouldn't do ANYTHING.. Now I don't want to sound like a jackass because I genuinely care about her for a lot more than just sex. But I REALLY like her and I don't think I can wait "A very long time" I think a month or too would be fine since we've been friends for a long time?Anyways.. The inception (BAAAWWWWMMM BAWM..) was.. I told the other girl (incepting one) that we agreed to not have sex for a long time and she said that it was a bad idea that we wait so long because if "We don't have sex with eachother, then she'll find it from someone else." and that "You can't trust women."No shit, this makes me sick to my stomach. The thought of her cheating on me.. And I've been dwelling on it all day..My question is, should I have sex ASAP. Have sex in a month or so. Or wait next to forever (please god not this one)--I don't think she's a slut for putting out so easy either, I honestly just think she gets attached to boys very easily and doesn't want to get her heart broken again so she agrees with whatever they say..--ALSO--I'm a virgin and she said she would feel really bad for taking my virginity because "I'm supposed to keep it for as long as possible"????-- Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2011): Okay, one more thing (Thanks for everyone's advice BTW. And YES the guy that posted the second question was me from my phone..) How do I know if I'm doing things right?
Are we supposed to act a certain way together? Because things aren't much different except for we kiss & hug? I don't really think that's a REAL relationship (or is it?) What are we supposed to talk about?
My biggest fear is her leaving me because I'm boring?.
A
female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (1 June 2011):
 If you're in the 13-15 year age bracket, you're too young to be having sex.
You do realise that a result of sex is pregnancy? Another result of sex could possibly be an STI/STD. You need to be wise in regards to making this relationship sexual.
What this other girl told you about your girlfriend "finding someone else" to have sex with, is BS. Please don't listen to her. If you and your girlfriend develop a strong emotional connection and a foundation of trust (which is done by getting to know the person first before having sex with them), the stronger your bond will become, making it more special for the both of you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2011): It is good that she is taking things slowly with you. Try not to stress out and when you feel much calmer like having gone for a walk or something.
Just go on a nice date with her, tell her you care and that you would like to take things slowly if she would.
Simple as that!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2011): it did help actually, thank you. I guess if she wanted to have sex she would do it with her boyfriend and not some other guy. (I hope)
Please don't think me immature, because
I can honestly say that I care about her and want to protect her (emotionally and physically) I really like the things she does like her laugh and how she smiles and how she's ticklish almost everywhere. i think it's super cute and I really want to get to know her a lot more.
The only reason I was so stressed out about this (like i mentioned in the original question) is that if she cheated on me i'd be crushed!
thankyou for the advice. i dont mind waiting if it means a genuine and meaningful relationship.
...............................
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (1 June 2011):
 Why are you in a relationship with this girl?
Something I like to remind all teenagers in a relationship is that relationships in high school, don't tend to last very long, for two reasons. The first is that nobody seems to grasp the concept of how a relationship should work, that naivety combined with the wild hormones sparking aimlessly through your body, results in situations like this, a relationship that unnecessarily hinges off sex.
Forget what your friend said about not trusting women and about the possibility of this girl cheating on you. Why does she want to wait a long time? I'm not saying she's wrong to, in fact, she should be praised for actually waiting with you unless she plans to be disloyal. Answer this then: Is she a loyal person?
She should wait and so should you. For her, waiting means that this is an actual relationship and it has more meaning than any of those other ones because where you actually care about her, they were almost exclusively in it for sex. If she waits and if you are still with her, it means she doesn't need to be afraid of having her heart broken just because she refuses to have sex. YOU should wait because sex tends to complicate things when you're a teenager, don't doubt that. One reason why laws usually prohibit sex until 16 or 18 depending on where you are. Wait so that you actually KNOW for certain just how you feel about her and only when you've built up a strong enough emotional bond, you can add intimacy into it. And I know that being as young as you are right now, you might try to find excuses like "she feels she can tell me things, I think we're ready". If you don't, good for you, if you do, then don't.
You don't have to wait forever, just long enough so that you're not just another douchebag guy to her and she's not just some object that can be passed around.
I hope that helps.
...............................
|
