A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend's friend invites me to his wife's baby shower. Should I go? His friend stopped talking to him and answering his phonecalls for resons we both don't understand but he keeps sending me random messages to wish me merry christmas, happy Thanksgiving, invitation to a small gathering and now an invitation to a babyshower. It is possible they are random messages but if they are why is my boyfriend not getting them? By the ways they have known each longer than I do.I like this couple a lot but do you think I ill be disrespecting my relationship if I attend this shower? My boyfriend said I can go but I dont think he means it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am not really close to them. They are friends of my boyfriend who lives out of state. His friends just kicked him to the curb and stopped all contacts with him. What we are baffled about is why he is reaching out to me or contacting me. If he deleted him off his contact list why didn;t he do the same to me? Hmm I think I will take the loyalty road here. Thanks all
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2012): No, you are not disrespecting your relationship if you attend the shower. Baby showers are generally geared towards women and most men find them tedious and annoying. It makes perfect sense that you would be invited and your boyfriend would not.
How long has this lack of communication been going on between your boyfriend and his friend? I know that when my husband and I got together, his best friend eventually just sent messages to my phone number because he knew he'd get an answer if he contacted me while my husband would often be too busy or distracted to give him a timely answer. Even my mother in law will call my phone number first. She loves her son, but she knows he'll either have to check with me anyway or he won't answer because he's busy. When you're messaged with an invitation to a small gathering, is it generally an invitation for you both? Will his friend talk to him if they're at the same event?
If you know his friend's wife and are friends with her and want to go, then go. If you don't really know her well at all and don't want to go, then don't go.
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A
female
reader, Dragonheart  +, writes (27 February 2012):
 It sounds very odd, as if he would send the messages to you in a hope to create strife between you and your boyfriend. I would definitely try to find out in any case what's going on there.
To answer your question, I think from a loyalty point of view, you should not attend this shower (and in the consequence also stop all contact with the other couple) or go there with your boyfriend despite the fact that he is not invited. Confrontation would eventually be a chance to find out why your bf's friend is ignoring him and from there hopefully open a way to talk things out.
Good luck to you!
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