A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has just invited me out to a "works night out". He has just started working at the place. This is the first time i have been invited to one, normally he doesn't bother asking. I would love to go but i am a bit worried about a couple of things.First is that i am 21 but i look alot younger. This means i wil get my ID checked. I find this so embaressing especially because i am going to show my BF up.Secondly i do not dance (i can't dance, i have no rythem). I know that my boyfriend will try and push me to dance and that we will end up arguing over it. Spoiling the night for everyone.Thirdly i don't know any of his friends and i don't want to show him up so i will stay quiet (probably in a corner). How can i join in with the group but not make a fool of my boyfriend.Forth problem and the biggest is what if i catch my boyfriend (who will be drunk) flirting with other girls or worse? I will then be stranded with no one i know in the center of a busy city.You can probably tell i don't go out often (well ever). I just really don't want to show my bf up. should i accept the offer and go out (and be uncomfortable all night) or do i say no?Sorry it is a bit of a random question.
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female
reader, gemmaxx09 +, writes (2 July 2009):
 You need to calm down, you should be thinking you must be really important to him for him to want you there. I wish my ex was like that. Im 20 and i get ID'd and to be honest if i that comfortable with my bf i wouldnt be emabrassed that i got id'd infront of him. To be honest i wouldnt care and neither would he.
Also, with my ex if i went out in a group with his mates, the part about him flirting with other girls wouldnt even enter my head, soo what is making you feel that way?
I doubt everyone is going to turn their head and think omg look at her dancing, theyll prbably have a few drinks and just enjoy themselves and wont look at you. Im a awful dancer but i would rather enjoy a nice dance with my bf than worry about people that i dont know. Stop thinking too much into, go and have a good time. You maybe surprise yourself and have an enjoyable time with the guy you love!
A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (2 July 2009):
 your most welcome for the tip.
feel free to ask me anytime, im the social bee! ha!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for your answers. I will bring up the dancing thing before we go. And thank you for the tip of getting a cab companies number before i go out Starlights, I didn't think of that.
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (2 July 2009):
Hi there!
firstly dont worry about this all too much.
i can sense your tension & i shall give you useful tips on how to approach british work do's.
firstly your worried about your ID being checked.
well this is normal in most after work places.
they usaully ID everyone,
(even ive got id'd for a glass of water on my works nite out)
& my friends were laughing!
it doesnt look silly on u, more looks silly on the establishment whose asking but as per regulations and laws they have to check the ID of everyone.
Secondly if u dont want to dance, then dont.
u can move to the rythem of music just by sitting down.
have u told the bf in advance u dont want to get up and dance?
i advise u tell him before u go so he doesnt pester you.
however remmeber usually most people r drunk by the dancing stage, so they wont remember how your dancing is by then!
Thirdly u dont know anyone. thats ok, when u get there smile at every1, and say hi. that would do. u will find people will respond. if u wanna strike up conversation ask them what there job titles are , and it should flow naturally.
Forth problem your bf doesnt sound nice if he gets drunk and flirts with other girls... is he normally like this?
if so i suggest u rethink your relationship with him as he doesnt sound very caring.
but if this scenario does happen where he ditches u on the night for another girl, then u can always get a cab back (u can find out the nearest cab place on the net and jot it in your mobile and when ur finished for the nite u can call them for a lift)
only u can answer if u want to go out or not.
its nice to do something different else u will get stuck in a rut, and socialising occasionaly is good for you.
good luck!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (2 July 2009):
 Unless you plan on living the rest of your life in a cave, you will be obligated to occasionally attend functions such as this. The more experience you have socially, will make you more comfortable. You may find that you actually look forward to going once you've gone to a few. I'm sure you will make your boyfriend very proud. By the way I'd settle the dancing issue BEFORE you go.
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