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Should I go back to my ex, or stay with my new man?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 July 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 11 July 2012)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

First off before i start i wanna say ive never had luck finding the right guy! So i was dating my ex for 6 months we fell in love and all that and he was great well i cheated on him and it totally changed everything of course how he treated me and everything, so he broke up with me. And i figured well he's never coming back. In the mean time im jobless at the moment and I got a dui so i have no license, but i met this absolutely amazing guy totally different from any man ive dated and things have gotten serious well one night i was drinking with friends and called my ex it was in the am so he didnt answer, but calledthe next day and said that he missed me and still loved me (we were broken up a almost 2 months) and wanted me to move 6 hrs away to live with him, well now im stuck i have no idea what to do i still love my ex and really like the new man. moving with my ex would be very financially beneficial and would help me out with getting a job and i can take care of some other legal issues im dealing with, but i know ill never met another man like the new guy hes wonderful but my ex is still dealing with what i done to him in the past. HELP i have no idea what to do??? im lost

View related questions: broke up, fell in love, my ex

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A female reader, IamJess United Kingdom +, writes (11 July 2012):

IamJess agony auntObviously you can't love any of them that much because you cheated on your ex boyfriend, and your wondering whether you should leave your new man for someone else.

It seems like you just keep wanting to wander off into other relationships with different guys, and getting back with your ex boyfriend might not get rid of the worries that was there when you was together, and if you cheated before you might cheat again, obviously he wasn't enough for you to cheat or you wouldn't of done that?

If I can be honest, I'd just get out of being in a relationship and take some time to figure your head out, because your new man obviously is happy thinking your happy with him when your wondering about another guy - thats not right, and totally 100% unfair on him.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2012):

"Should I go back to my ex, or stay with my new man?"

Neither, and that's for their sakes, not yours.

At this time you are too self-absorbed and are carrying too much baggage to make their lives any better by being part of them; you're looking for who can do more for you, if you were really in love with either, you would be asking yourself what more can you do for them.

Get yourself back up on your own two feet before you start making decisions that affect the lives of others based solely on your personal convenience.

You would do well to seek counselling to help you sort through your issues and work towards resolving your legal problems. Probably a good idea to lay off the sauce as well.

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