A
male
age
36-40,
*rent87
writes:Hi everyone. I am engaged to get married next year in june. It is about my fiance going to be using birth control. She plans to go see the doctor and get all that figured out. But when would be a good time to go to the doctor and should i go along with her? Or should i just let her go alone?
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male
reader, trent87 +, writes (11 November 2014):
trent87 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for your help! You have put my mind at ease. I will be talking to her soon about it all. And just to add. My fiancé and I are still virgins, so that is why I am new at this topic. Thanks again everyone!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2014): The best thing to do is to find out from your fiancé,have a talk with her and if she is comfortable with it,fine but if she is not,let her have her own little privacy.but be sure enough to ask her how the appointment went
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A
female
reader, Melanie0517 +, writes (28 October 2014):
They don't even let you back in the room at the one I go to. You'd be waiting in the waiting room, seems pointless. If she's getting married, I certainly think she can handle a doctor appt and getting contraception on her own.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 October 2014):
 has she ASKED you to go? if not, then no do not go.
sometimes my hubby asks me to attend his dr appointments and then I do... sometimes he does not and then I offer and do not go unless he wants me there.
I do NOT want him at my regular gyn appointment but i'm happy to have him at my ortho appointments.
IF it was a sick visit yes I would ask him to go but not for a well woman contraceptive check.
If she is going to use hormonal treatment such as birth control pills she should be on them at least 3 months before the wedding....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 October 2014):
 That would be her call, not yours.
My guess is she is QUITE capable of going to see the doctor and get this sorted out herself. To be honest I think MOST women rather NOT have extra "audience" in the exam room WITH THEM when they have a OB/GYN appointment/exam.
I would also STICK to still using condoms even if she gets on the pill.
And while you two are at it, have you done a mutual STD/STI/HIV test?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 October 2014):
 Why don't you ask her your fiancee' what she prefers to do ?
Personally I find slightly bizarre the presence of a fiancee' at what is, after all, a professional and private consultation with her OB/GYN, and I am sure that your fiancee', guided by her physician, can figure out by herself what is the best choice for HER own body and HER reproductive health. But, if she is more comfortable with you being present and involved,... why not,her choice.
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A
female
reader, ramet-x  +, writes (28 October 2014):
 It feels good as a lady to see ur man is concerned about ur health too by simple things like offering to go to the doc with her to give her ur support she feel treassured so just tell her casually u will go with her and see her reaction if shes comfortable do it if shes not let her be but be sure to ask her about it when she comes back as a sign she was in ur thoughts
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (28 October 2014):
 Trent you should be talking to your fiancé about these things. Your fiancé needs to feel comfortable with what ever outcome is chosen. The opinion of your fiancé takes precedence over any one else's opinion.
Why only now is your fiancé talking about contraception?
And why are you not comfortable with asking this question of your fiancé? There should be no secrets and you should have such a high level of trust between you and fiancé such that you and your fiancé can discuss anything.
Rather than the Doctor perhaps talk to your fiancé about the merits of the two of you getting some pre-marriage counselling to ensure that you are both on the same page, before you get married.
Start discussing your attitudes to budgeting, how the budget will be organised. About how you will approach all manner of things. Couples counselling could help you uncover the mine fields that you two as a couple need to be working on.
Contraception is just one such challenge amid a sea of potential challenges that the two of you should be working on now. Well before the wedding.
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