| A
female
,
*indsey1
writes: Is it always best to stay with the "comfortable, nicer" boyfriend?Four years ago, I dated a guy for about a year and a half. I was crazy about him but unfortunately, he was still inexperienced with relationships and had a hard time expressing himself and giving me a serious commitment. He also did not make enough time for me. Despite this, he was fun, silly, and capable of capturing my heart. We broke it off and I went on to a new guy, one that was able to give me commitment. Despite this, three years later, I still thought about the first guy and decided to contact him. I realized it was a "mistake" and pretty much avoided his phone calls after the first contact. After a month of this, I emailed him back and told him I made a mistake because I am now in a relationship. He invited me to see him play in his shows for the next few months but I declined. I then went to one show and when we saw each other, everything came back and he deeply apologized for not taking our relationship more seriously. He said he realized that I was the only girl who truly wanted him for who he was and that he was not able to find the same chemistry with anyone else. (this guy was never able before to express his feelings). I told him we could remain friends and remained in contact for the last few months but it is getting harder for me not to think about him. I stopped over at his house last week after he begged me to see him and try again. He also told me his feelings were very strong but that he didn't want to ruin my current relationship if I love the other guy. I told him I do have feelings for my current boyfriend but that I still felt a strong chemistry for him (he's always been the one in my heart). He really does seem like he has matured but I am afraid that he might take me for granted again if I got serious about him again. The problem is, he is the only guy I have felt this strongly about and the only one who has truly been able to hold my interest. I just don't know what to do. My boyfriend is great but I don't feel excited about him anymore. I know the common answer is to stay away from the ex but what if that person is still the one that truly captures your heart and he recognizes the error of his ways? Is it worth a second chance if you take it slow? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007): I think that you should. I am currently in the same situation, where I dated a guy and he was this huge person in my life then he just up and left. And now two years later we have started talking again and every bit of chemistry we had is there. And now hes treating me like he is a completely new person. He tells me all the sweet things that he never told me when we were dating. I dont want to have my heart broken again by him, but he is also the only person that has stayed in my mind for the past two years. So, what do i do? I think at this point, its worth finding out just how much he has changed. And if things could be better now that time has passed. So give him a chance. Im doing the same. And if it fails, then it does. But you will always wonder what could have been.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2006): Yes, give him a second chance! He is in your heart and he could definitely have learned to appreciate you more. Nobody is perfect, we're human and we all make mistakes.
Remember, to error is human, to forgive is divine.
Good luck, you only live once!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2005): Wow, three years down line line and still chemistry. Ive got to be honest, I think you would be a fool not to give it another go. You really need to follow your heart on this one and it seems clear where it is. Its possible that he has matured and realised he didnt give you what you needed. Life has presented you with a second chance and if it doesnt work out, so what? At least you will know.
The thing that sticks out for me is that your current BF is not the one for you regardless of your feelings for your ex and never will be.
We only get one chance, seize it and be happy !!
Good luck
...............................
A
male
reader, PsychicHigh +, writes (17 November 2005):
Double edged blade...
They may understand what they did but they may not know how to fix what previous damage was done. While they may know.
If you can see yourself having a future with your current boyfriend, don't take a gamble on it you will only regret it later if you lose. Only try if you know if he's still single, and your current boyfriend will be nothing more than just a boyfriend.
...............................
|
