Should I give my ex's best friend a chance?

A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi, I'm 15 and my boyfriend and I of one month broke up earlier today. This is our second and last break-up, we broke up last Tuesday (though the whole process was three days)and we decided to get back together this past Monday. I'm hurt but deep down I know it's for the best. He wasn't the one for me though I certainly felt like he was for a long period of time. The break-up was his decision. I feel like a fool, I don't understand how a man can just suddenly change his feelings for you. It seems like after you become sexually involved, he will toss you aside because he recieved what he wanted. Needless to say I learned from this experience, the hard way. At least I still have my technical virginity. Anyway, I'm sorry for going into that, my question is this: Shortly after my boyfriend and I broke up, his best friend started texting me, telling me how my boyfriend is such an "a**" and how he (my EX BF'S best friend)can show me everything my ex "wasn't". Basically, my now ex boyfriend's best friend wants to date me. He told me how he's liked me since the moment he's seen me and he will do "anything" to "prove" to me how much he likes me. I told him I'm definitely not ready to date anyone at the moment because I have to heal first and that I will gladly be friends with him but as of now, nothing more. I also told him that it would be unfair to him if I dated him right now due to the fact that my ex would consistently be on my mind this early in the break-up. I don't want to do that to him, nobody deserves that. I then went into how I'm not exactly an easy road. I have 2 years, 7 1/2 months until I'm 18 and free to do what I want, which for ME is EVERYTHING. I have strict, overbearing parents who would, if they knew I had a boyfriend (and already have), not only kill ME, but HIM too. My ex is 19 and his best friend is 19, also, we've even got the older/younger thing going on so my parents aren't the ONLY ones we would need to worry about. Another complication is that I live in Michigan while he (my ex's best friend) lives in Florida. We would be 1,200 miles away from each other until I'm 18 and could move to Florida. Granted, I'm back and forth between Florida and Michigan because my grandparents live in Florida and I'll stay a month at a time at their house but only every couple months I am there. Honestly, I'm just a big heap of complications that aren't my fault but still ON me. Even after explaining ALL this to him though, he remained persistent saying he didn't mind it and that I was "worth it". If this guy is willingly to put up with all my s*** instead of just going for an easier girl, should I give him a chance? I was extremely reluctant at first being that this is my ex's best friend, it is SO soon and also just the fact that really, he's not my type but if he is THAT serious about me, would it be mean NOT to? Am I possibly passing up a good opportunity or is this just an all-around bad idea? Sadly I think I'm going to be hung up on my ex for a while because I really DO love him and deep down I'm hoping he'll come back to me... Wouldn't starting a new relationship in this mindset just hurt me farther? Not only me, but HIM? I can't even see myself with anyone but my ex right now. I'm not ATTRACTED to a single person besides my ex. Please give me insight Agony Aunts, I really need your help!

View related questions: best friend, broke up, get back together, my ex, period, text

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A female reader, tella1  +, writes (6 February 2010):

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