A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been on and off with this guy I'm in love with for 5 years. We decided to go our own ways and he got with a girl but left her for me then got back with her. Now they have broken up due to their own problems and he is saying he wants me even though he knows how hard it was for me to move on in the slightest... nearly a year, but now he says he is confused about how to go about being with me, should I just move on?
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female
reader, korculan queen  +, writes (17 February 2008):
Sounds like he is committment phobic and really not sure what he wants. This will confuse you and make you unsure. Ask yourself do you want to be someone's seconds or do you want a partner who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to be with you. Or do you want this bloke? The choice is yours.
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (17 February 2008):
 Only a fool wouldnt move on. The bloke is gonna be back n forth til one of you gets a back bone. Be strong not weak.
Sorry to be blunt.
Good luck.
C xxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2008): Move on hun!!!!
Don’t fall into the trap! You have spent so long trying to heal and yes you still love him but if you go back, what’s to say that 3 months down the line he wont return to her. You would undo all the hard work that you have invested in your self and will have to start the healing all over again. You realise how long this took to you to get to where you are but don’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that when he clicks his fingers you will come back and running.
He has betrayed you and let you down. He is using you as a lap dog or even worse a ping pong ball. When he finishes with one of you he dumps you and runs back to the other, with no regards to your feelings – he is selfish and self-centred. You are not his property and you are no longer in his book of choices. He lost you once and needs to regret this. If he really wants to be with you and I mean really, with commitment and all. You will know as it will be different to just speaking words and apologising for all the hurt that he has caused.
He has realised that the grass is not greener on the other side but show him that you have moved on and are much stronger than you were before. He needs to miss you, he cheated on you remember! You don’t owe him a thing and at least not the chance to be used by him again. He knows that you still love him, he can sense it, He has you backed up in the corner ready to adhere to his commands. BUT NO MORE! Break away, have some self respect and show him that you have a backbone.
If he really wants to be with you, he’d fight for you and spent time on his own first. He has JUST BROKEN up with her. How does he know that that he is ready to date again? He is rebounded between the both of you. A year is not enough time apart especially as he was with someone else during this time.
Remember that what you had WAS special but it is now in the past. Hold on to the good memories and realise that it is ok to still have love for your ex but it not ok to allow him to hurt you!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (17 February 2008):
 Will you be 39th time lucky?
I think if it won't work in the past , it will not work in the present.
Better to move on.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2008): Why don't you use your head and drop this dude? Common sense should tell you that it's not going to work.
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