A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My ex and I broke up 2 years ago. He moved across country but we've still maintained contact over this time period. We both started dating other people and actually discussed with one another that it was preventing us from moving on as we talk, email, text, etc. everyday. I told him I was going to stop talking to him and he said no--he still wanted me in his life. It's at the point now where we need to move to be with one another or let it go and move on.So my question is, should I give it a shot and hope for the best or just let it go and move on? Just wondering if anyone has any real life stories they've experienced going either route.Thank you.
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broke up, move on, period, text Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (13 October 2009):
Young lady,
Long distance relationships rarely if ever, work. It takes constant communication, and trust. Being apart, as I am sure you have experienced, simply leaves too much wiggle room for either party to stray and make a mess of things.
I would suggest you continue to date someone local. Yes you may have a lot of memories and a lot of common interests with this man so far away, but unless you can see him and touch him physically, then basically Id call it a day on the LDR.
Most people who are in LDR's will tell you the same thing...they don't work.
A
male
reader, Candleman +, writes (13 October 2009):
Here's what my insticts tell me. If you two are able to communicate for this long and it is actually keeping you from moving on, then it seems like there is a chance at the relationship.
You have to remember though that it is completely different spending time each day texting or instant messaging or talking on the phone than living every day with the person.
All the pet peeves and major issues that blocked you before, many if not all will be there again.
Have you resolved these past issues? Or, are they just lurking to come back out in full force once you get together again? If the likelyhood of ever getting over these is remote, then you'll probably waste your time by not moving on.
Not knowing what the issues were, then I can't really give anymore than this.
Here's an interesting question. Having come this far w/ the guy, could you really cut off communication with him? Or, would it gnaw at you and always make you wonder? Knowing human nature, it will probably gnaw at you. Which means the sooner you go and try this, the sooner you find out.
I hope the decision you make is the best.
Good Luck
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