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female
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anonymous
writes: My ex and i might get back..i contacted him in late august..he said he can't just jump back into things and that we would exchange calls and then meet and see what happens.Sometimes it would take him a few nights to get back to me and i kept letting it go until i felt i just had to say something and i did ask are you looking forward to seeing me and he said he is but apart of him is still hesistant..we decided to talk on the phone and he basically said he has a lot of financial things goint with a mortgage on a family member's house,the fact he could be laid off in a few months. I said alot of people have financial problems, it usually doesn't prevent them from being with someone and I did say maybe its just ME you don't want to be with. And he says it has nothing to do with me. He says he doesnt want a full time relationship right now with anyone where its boyfriend and girfriend. He said I don't think that is going to change in a few months either. He said if you want we can see each other here and there and go out(I don't think he meant it like just sleeping with him because he knows I am not like that).He said he just wants to be clear with me about things so there aren't any suprises and doesn't know how else to say them. I did ask well is it kind of like just taking it slow and one day at a time and he said yeah i guess and he said something like i don't want a boyfriend/girlfriend thing right now. I texted him later saying I guess i thought if we had seen each other slowly, things would fall into place. He said he doesn't know that it won't but he doesn't think it would be anytime soon and it might not and I need to know that.Should I give him time before I walk away? If i tell him call me when you are ready for a relationship he will just take that as goodbye and that would be it. Maybe once we start being around each other and having fun IN PERSON, things could slowly change in the future?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (18 November 2009):
Don't make the mistake of thinking things will change. They probably won't. You have been waiting since August for some kind of answer, and all you've got is confusion. He ahs told you that at the moment he does not want a girlfriend. I think you've given him enough time to make his mind up, and he hasn't. He doesn't want a girlfriend at the moment. If he did, he and you would be together. No matter how hard you're finding it, you now really need to move on, because you're never going to be happy waiting in limbo for something that he says might happen, but probably won't. Be brave and move on from him. He's your ex for a reason. Leave it that way.
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