A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have not seen my boyfriend in 9 days and the last time we spoke was four days ago. I usually call every morning to wake him up as he has requested. He sent a text on Monday saying he was already up and to have a good day and hugs and kisses baby. We usually tell each other goodnight every night, he has not done that. I left a message on Wednesday morning for him saying good morning, have a good day and I luv you. He did not return my call. I know he has been going through some personal things. We use to talk everyday, he comes over for dinner during the week (sometimes spend the night) and every weekend we stay with each other. He has not asked for his key back and I haven't requested my things back. Although, I have full access to his home, I have not gone by. We do love each other and I'm wondering if I should give him his space although he has told me in the past that he doesnt believe in the "space thing". Help I'm hurting inside, this is really not like him and I'm worried.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo I don't think there is another female involved but I think something went on at a function that he was involved in that made him feel uncomfortable. The last time we spoke he said that some things had gone on at the club and he didn't want to talk about it. I asked if I was going to see him on that day and first he said that he didn't know he wold probably have his child,I told him that's never been a problem and he said that he really was exhausted from preparing for the function and working the function (this past weekend) and would like to just go to bed. He really wanted to just be by himself that day and he had gone to the park earlier just to think. He kept elaborating that some things went on at the function. I told him ok and that I loved him and miss him...he said he love and miss me too. He said that we would talk. That's why I am not calling him over and over OR contacting him, I think he is dealing with whatever went on. It's just highly unusual and how long do I wait to not contacting him again? I don't want to pop in on him, because I want to give him his respect.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): Highly unusual. Do you think there could be another female involved? If not, something 'big' is going on if this is out of character for him. You don't need us to tell you that you are within your right to find out what is happening to your love relationship. He's the other half and you should have some answers. Call him up and ask why and what's going on.. Be honest and direct..these are the good character qualities that encompass a love relationship. See if he'll respect you by giving you the same honesty in return. Don’t second and third guess yourself. Insist on the truth because you don't want to remain in limbo here. And remember, he's doing something that is hurting and causing you confusion. So don't play by someone else’s rules. It's time to get answers. Good luck, dear.
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A
female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (1 November 2007):
 I vote - he does need the space, but not calling you back is rude and inconsiderate. We all have our personal things to deal with. Maybe drop by his place, just to see if he is okay - this will ease your worry. If he is there, then tell him you're just checking in to see how he is doing, and ask if there is anything he needs - and then be on your way, and if he's not there, leave a note to say you were there to see if he's okay, and could he please call you.
This will at least give you some peace of mind. If he is strange towards you, or doesn't call you back after you've left the note, then you need to start worrying. 9 days is a long time when one sees a partner everyday, but some couples go for months without seeing each other. Review your situation after you've gone by his house, and if you need advice after that, please shout...
Good luck
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