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Should I get pregnant to keep my cheating boyfriend in my life??

Tagged as: Big Questions, Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 June 2007) 15 Answers - (Newest, 26 February 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Ok, i would like views on what you think about a gf getting pregnant on purpose just to keep her bf in her life.

I found out that my bf was cheating on me with his ex the entire 2 yrs we've been on and off together. I was so devastated. I didnt want to lose him. (Im on the pill so he never uses condoms).

I would do anything to keep him from leaving me.

Please be nice with you comments!

View related questions: condom, his ex, the pill

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A female reader, resentful United States +, writes (26 February 2010):

I totally get it. I got back with a boyfriend after he cheating on me with no protection with the other women.2 other woman. He used the excuse that he was drunk. Anyway its goin to be hard to get over him but you need to come to the realization that you deserve better. Why be with someone who doesnt respect you? dont have a baby that will grow up with a dad that cheated and is a loser and wont be responsible. i kicked my ex out cause he was a leach and a bumb .then he got a new girlfriend after 3 months and she got pregnant immediately. they havent even been together 6 months.She was the rebound girl cause i dumped him. we tried to be friends ( not with benefits)but he still was a loser even ass a friend..he was a drunk also.. he cant even afford the toll bridge and he wants to support a baby.. i thank god that wasnt me!! cause he always wanted a kid.but i told him we needed to financially support one first.. i didnt want my kid to need anything and not be able to afford it. like braces,....i feel sorry for the new girl and the baby.. so pleassssse enjoy not life and dont let a loser like that stay in your life.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009):

"and I didnt get pregnant on purpose-my ex used to break the condom on purpose and the next month I was pregnant"

When a girl knows the condom has broken she takes the morning after pill to make sure she doesn't get pregnant.Until otherwise she intended to get pregnant.

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A female reader, SouthernSweety United States +, writes (21 February 2009):

SouthernSweety agony auntPlease do not get pregnant by this man,believe me he wont stay with you he will just run and hide-then you will be stuck being a single mother raising a child on your on.And trust me I know what im talking about,im 8 1/2 months pregnant and I didnt get pregnant on purpose-my ex used to break the condom on purpose and the next month I was pregnant,now you probably think that were together but we arent he wasnt mature enough to handle everything- so we broke up.But im not sad at all,it feels good to have that loser out of my life,and you should get rid of your loser boyfriend.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2008):

Please don't get pregnant to keep anyone. My ex ended a relationship with me! I found out he had a new girlfriend so I convinced him in every way possible 2 sleep with me! As far as lying and saying I was on birth control! We had 1 child prior 2 us breaking up! I got pregnant 2 trap him n steal him away from his new girlfriend! Throughout the time I was still sleeping with him, he kept telling me we weren't getting back together and it was just sex! I had my own view and figured he would leave his girlfriend and come back to me since we will now have 2 children! Come to find out, his girlfriend had a baby a little b4 me, and I was devastated because I wanted him 2 choose who he was going 2 b with although he had clearly told me we weren't getting back together before, during, and after I got pregnant! I refuse 2 listen!! I listened 2 my friends and now I have 2 kids!! He has nothing 2 do with my baby!! I purposely tried to ruin someone else's relationship and it backfired on me!! God doesn't like evil!! I took my ex 2 court for child support 4 both kids!! I hate his current girlfriend 4 having a child with him because maybe we could have gotten back together! My name is robin pettijohn!! Thanks!

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A female reader, Just a Girl... United Kingdom +, writes (7 June 2007):

Just a Girl... agony auntoh huni huni huni!!!!

you reli cannot di that bbe

dnt be silly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2007):

I can't believe what I'm reading. You're a selfish woman who needs to start thinking like an adult. You can stay in a situaton you choose to be in with a man who disrespects you and treats you badly, you're only ruining your own life. This child would have no choice but to be born into this mess so don't even think about it. If you think he won't stay without a baby, is he even staying for the right reasons anyway?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2007):

Do not get pregnant because of your cheating boyfriend! I mean why should you, you do not need him if he is cheating so I would get rid hunni because he is not worth it and he probably wouldnt stay anyway, he sounds a right loser you are better off without him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2007):

Reading your posts makes me very sad for a whole generation of young women out there who seem to think nothing of reproducing without being married.

You have no moral compass, you are lost, you have no goals for your future, and need a man to define who you are.

If you had any self respect, and self knowledge, you would kick your cheating, lying boyfriend to the curb, and never look back. He lied to you for two years, you were not in a relationship, you were just handy as his shirt pocket, always around when he felt like finding you and having sex.

It is utter stupidity to think that having a child with him will make him love you, cherish you, be faithful to you and want to raise a family....a cad like this will run as far and as fast as he can get, and then you will be suing him for child support....Maybe that is your plan, getting child support from the father so it will pay your rent while you work at some dead end job, so that you can party every night, avoid the stress of college or technical school and wait for some other dumb guy that you can trap into marrying you.

This is all very sad for you and a waste of a life....bringing a child into your sad little world, means that the child will pay for your mistakes.

There is a reason that regular people (rich Hollywood celebs need not apply) need the security and sanctity of marriage before having children....marriages do not always last forever, but it is the bond of family that children need, at least attempt to provide that plus financial security before having children....the government should not have to support you and your child.

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A female reader, Farris United Kingdom +, writes (3 June 2007):

Farris agony auntNo. Never have a baby for that reason.

A baby is a person, not an item of leverage. Having a baby will not bring your boyfriend back. It might make him assume some responsibility in the child's care, but it won't make him your partner anymore. It'll just make him a father, and by the sounds of the irresponsible and horrible way he's been acting, he'd make a pretty terrible one at that.

Move on from this man, and find one that will stay faithful to you and would make a terrific father.

Good luck & Best wishes.

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A male reader, Royofthe Rovers United Kingdom +, writes (3 June 2007):

Royofthe Rovers agony auntusing a human life as a way to revenge is not the way to go. Im sure deep down you know this. Trapping someone in this way is only going to drive them further away and end up with a more complicated situation than you have now.

this is entrapment and you will be playing a dangerous game with a number of lives if you continue down this road. Please be sensible and mature about this. I know it hurts and it would seem you would do anything to keep him by your side but this is a step too far.

if he cheated on you why trust him to come back to you becuase of a child. This is a sign of desperation and not how a child should be concieved.

Please think carefully before considering this.

R

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2007):

of course not, why would you want to do that keeping your cheating boyfriend around? he doesn't love you or respect you, if he does he would not be doing this such as you mention cheating!! what's wrong with you, you should really think about this, sooner or later your going to regret it! there would be much suffering if you approach your actions....

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2007):

NO NO NO!!!! sweetheart this fella has cheated on u all the way through your relationship, plus having a baby wont make him change or stay... And having a baby for the wrong reasons is a definate no no!!! Babys are hard work its not a 9 to 5 job, darling it is a very hard job trust me ive had 3. my advise to you my love would be get him out of your life how ever hard it may feel now, Believe me when i say the hurt WILL pass and find someone who treats you with love and respect. and when the time is right have a child out of love, please! please! dont do this, my friend did this and it didnt work out at all her partner who was'nt ready for children was'nt happy to say the least when he found out she had stopped the pill, he stayed for awhile but the pressure of being parents got to them both and they split up, now she is struggling on benifits to put food on the table and she cant go out as she has no money she cant buy nice clothes either and she has been very low, she is not much older than you.

And thats without the cheating side of things so please sweetheart think very carfully if you need a private chat just write me ok i do understand and am always here i check in at least 3 times a day please take care of you xxx

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A female reader, Jendorset United Kingdom +, writes (3 June 2007):

Anyway, you will end up suffering even more, if he leave you, you will end up a single parent and alone with a child who doesnt have a father. You will suffer more and prolong your hurt.

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A female reader, Jendorset United Kingdom +, writes (3 June 2007):

If you have a baby, it may make him do the complete opposite as he may leave you. He will cheat on you at some point if you have a baby or not (even maybe in the far future, but he will). And if you break up, you will be over him eventually...and you will have a child from a man you no longer care about. Or maybe even hate. Bringing a child into the world for these reasons would be extremely unfair.

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A female reader, in my opinion United Kingdom +, writes (3 June 2007):

in my opinion agony auntgetting pregnant to keep someone in your life is a certain no no!! for a start if he cheats now what is to stop him doing it again? bringing a baby into an unstable relationship is unfair on everyone. you should sit down and talk to him, if thats not an option maybe it maybe be best to just forget about him and find someone who will give you the love, respect and attention you deserve.

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