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female
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anonymous
writes: This is really stupid i know but i'm completely in love with this guy, who's told me he wants to have sex with me. The thing is, i know he doesn't have any strong feelings for me, and i'm tempted to try and get pregnant with his baby so i can have a part of him to love and care for. Please help me get this ridiculous idea out of my head before i do something stupid. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2006): Girl I know how you feel-im in love with some stupid african guy, ive been seeing him for 5 years, and he recently had a baby with another girlfriend, he does love me too and what he done makes me want to get pregnant too!! Crazy idea but if you will love your child and you can take care of her on your own then go for it. Let me know how you go! Its hard for anyone to influence you tho coz i think youve already made up your mind!! But dont use a baby as a weapon-it will backfire!!
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female
reader, becs +, writes (24 May 2006):
You are thinking like a classic bunny boiling psycho! Get a grip and accept the truth...
There is no one on this planet who should be the center of your universe. You should be!! Time to raise your standards and think more of yourself. You dont want to have a kid everytime you slip into an obsessive mode. You will end up having loads of kids from different dads!
Stop this selfish negative psycho crap and do something thats constructive... take up something... get healthy! do something for you and you'll have more of a chance making people respect you more!!!!!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2006):
This is a total lack of maturity and good judgement on your part not to mention total disregard for yourself and this future baby. What bother's me is that the women in your position are only thinking of their needs, their desires, their wants. You need a kid to feel complete so you can be forever connected to this guy, who doesn't give a damn. A kid isn't like a puppy or a kitten who will love you. Kids are darn hard work. They need love, attention, guidance..any parent will tell- it ain't always a walk in the park, dear. You teach a child the ability to love through your unconditional love for them. They are individual human beings and their needs are unrelenting, demanding and they will need you desperately..24/7...every day and night. Let's look at this scenario. You have a baby. You are alone because you will be abandoned by this guy. Life as you know it, now stops. Everything you do revolves around this child for the next 2 decades. They are something that you create, out of mutual love and devotion with man who will stick around and help you raise this child. This guy won't, because he doesn't give a damn. You know this guy, who has told you he wants to have sex with you but he doesn't love you. Why in god's name...do women do this? They remain with some guy knowing he clearly doesn't respect them, nor love them, yet allow these guys into their bodies and use them as sperm depositories. Bottom line: If you don't respect yourself and take pride in yourself, then nobody else will. .
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A
male
reader, Sparks +, writes (19 May 2006):
 Besides being very immoral, since it’s extremely selfish, your idea will only lead to unhappiness not only to both you and the man you love, but also to the child itself.
If you tried this like 5 or 6 decades ago, you might have forced the guy into marrying you, but even so it would probably turn out to be an unhappy affair anyway. People need to be together on their own will.
Nowadays you won’t even manage that, only probable court battles over child guard, alimony and visitation issues. Is that what you are looking for? I hardly think so.
How would your child feel upon learning he or she is the result of a selfish desire you had in the past? That you prevented contact with his or her father because you decided it was a nice way to satisfy your need to be with a guy that didn’t share the same feeling? Your child will feel exploited, having a hard time dealing with it and forgiving you.
This is a very bad idea.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2006): Are you stupid?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2006): I almost want to encourage Ms. Anon to go get pregnant. I mean... It is obviously a rather dumbfounded - oh wait, no it isn't. I think this sort of thinking is quite normal. Why? [rolls over laughing]
Oops, this is an advice site... [sigh] Okay, Ms. Anon aside from being horny about this guy who doesn't like you that way, you should think about the baby. I mean, this will probably be a very unhealthy relationship between baby and parents.
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A
male
reader, iamsoscrewedup333 +, writes (18 May 2006):
DON'T BE AN IDIOT !! If you supposedly really like this guy, why would you want to trap him in a situation that he does not want to be in??
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A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (18 May 2006):
 Listen my dear, please DONT get pregnant by this man. You have as good as told us that all he wants you for is SEX. He DONT love you, so please, dont trap him and try and "make" him fall in love with you. If you do get pregnant by him, he will end up hating, and despising you, he will think that you were only out to trap him and he wont take that very well at all. A baby is not a doll, its a LIFE. Dont create life unless there is LOVE. One day the baby will grow up, and when he or she asks you where is my daddy or I want to know who my daddy is" what will you say? Dont be silly my friend, a baby is a LIFE as I said, dont create it unless there is a lovong comittment between you both. xXx
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (18 May 2006):
 Having a baby is a serious commitment. You maybe in love with this guy at the moment but there will be other men; once you have a baby it is a parents responsibility to take care of a child. You may even resent the child if he or she doesn't bring what you secretly hope for which is a change in feelings by this man. The man will not be too impressed and it would not be a healthy relationship as you will have tricked and manipulated him. You cannot make him like you, and whether you decide to have sex with him or not is up to you but don't have sex to make him like you, or to make a baby with him because neither are going to work out in the long run.
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (18 May 2006):
 For GOD's sake you just said it. IT'S STUPID!!! You don't want a part of him you want him. You are making a bad situation worse by having a baby by this man. If he doesn't have strong feelings for you now the only place a baby will take him is a little place I like to call RESENTMENT. That will trickle down to your child. If not for yourself think about the situation you are bringing this baby into. Get the idea out of your head.
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