A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:A few days after my ex fiancee and I started talking about breaking up, he starting persuing another woman. Because of this I ended it totally with him. They got very serious quickly but she broke up with him a couple of months later. My ex was devastated. That night he started internet profiles to meet new woman. He has dated several of them. My ex used to lie to me about women friends/ex's (?) he would see when we were together and about him having internet dating profiles (he went on and off them depending how well we were getting on). He recently came to me and said he doesn't really want to meet anyone new, but loves and trusts me, he doesn't want a serious committed relationship yet as he wants to work on himself and become an honest person, but in the mean time wants a sex partner. He said I am his preference, but it could mean when he is ready for a serious relationship, it may or may not be me that it is with. If I don't take him up on this, he will sleep with other woman out of his sexual 'need'. I love him and his dishonesty was the reason I wanted to split up so if he can fix that, I would want to be with him. I am just after some feedback/thoughts. THANKS for your time.
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broke up, fiance, my ex, split up Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2011): I am not sure if anyone who posted here will read this, but I will give it a go anyway. update: I told my ex 'no' to his offer of fwb. It has been a week and he has come back, heart broken and offered to have a relationship with me again. Any more feedback? thoughts?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2011): Thank you so very much to the people who gave me their time by giving me your opinions. I think I new the answer but appreciated the reinforcement. Thank you again, you are appreciated.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2011): hi I am currently in the same situation with a man ten year older than me I am going to break it off with him cos basically we are just being used I would forget all about him you can never trust a liar again good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2011): Do you not see how much he is insulting you? He wants to use you for sex because it's convenient until, let's face it, someone better comes along. This is someone that you were engaged to, for goodness' sake, and he is treating you with complete and utter disrespect. I'm sorry for you, and I hope with all my might that you will not go down this road, as you clearly still have strong feelings for him and would end up more hurt and confused than before. At least before he pretended he was going to marry you. This time he is actually telling you straight out that he just wants to use you for sex. The answer is staring you in the face. Please be kind to yourself and have respect for yourself and your feelings. I know that it was hard to lose him but I can guarantee that it will be worse if you go back to him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (23 September 2011):
 I think that would be super dumb. He just wants someone familiar to USE while he looks for the greener grass.
Tell him to go fly a kite and find yourself a REAL man.
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A
male
reader, skyleo  +, writes (23 September 2011):
Dont ever accept this guy back in your life because he has already tell you the truth, so is left for you to choose from the right and wrong. How would he walked up to you and tell you that he needs a bed mate, pending the time he would find a lady of his choice. You loves him but he is in lust with you. Have a nice day.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 September 2011):
 Whaaat? Did you even let him finish his speach ? Just out of courtesy I guess. This guy has some nerve. He's telling you : on dating sites so far I haven't find anybody yet available to give me the time of the day, but , I am horny, and since I know you and i know you have a soft spot for me, you are perfect for being used until I can get something better ".
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (23 September 2011):
So what your ex is saying, in effect, is this:
"I've been with a lot of woman, now I'm getting nowhere. I know you, and I think you can be used, therefore I'll try my luck with you and when it suits me I'll just leave again"
He hasn't been honest one little bit. He's not even being honest now. He's just after having his wicked way, and will throw you aside yet again when he feels like it.
Love isn't enough, you know. You need respect, care, trust, a willingness to be together for the right reasons, honesty etc etc. He shows none of these. All he's done is hurt you, have sex with other women and come back to hurt you some more.
You'd be mad to even consider taking him back in any way whatsoever. If you do, in ten years you'll realize you've wasted your life on a rubbish man when there are far better ones out there who won't insult your feelings by coming back to you because they want to use you.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (23 September 2011):
 Isn't this too obvious? He asked you to compromise all your principles so that he can have a sex partner without ANY committment or obligations on his part. What guy hasn't DREAMED of that kind of arrangement????
... and you're seriously considering that??????
Good luck......
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