| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Should I get back with my ex after nearly 4 years apart? He claims he wants me back. He's living with another woman and says he'll leave her to get back with me. This was two weeks ago. He is still with her and by the looks of it has not intention of leaving. He keeps blowing hot and cold and messing about with my head. I haven't seen him prove nothing in any way that he is really serious about what he says. We have a 6 year old son and I was thinking of trying it for my son's sake. He misses his dad and he's never really been a good dad to him and even if it's just for my son's sake would it be worth it. HELP!
View related questions:
my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2007): Be careful here, hun. It would have been much smarter and respectful of him to get himself out of this current relationship, before even calling you. I'm wondering why he wasn't more honest with you, from that first moment he called you? In effect, he is cheating on her. Physically or emotionally...he's still cheating. Hun, because his attentions are on you. It's likely his relationship has problems. But, if he wasn't happy nor was getting what he needed from being with her, then all that should've told him it was time to move on, before involving a new love interest (you). But rather than either fixing the relationship or leaving it, he calls you. You have to wonder..were you simply a back up plan, all because he's feeling needy and lonely in his current relationship? Leaving her first, then giving you a call, would have been the only, most decent, fairest thing to do. He needs to understand that when one's current relationship isn't working, a mature man doesn't just flit into another woman's life. People's hearts and feelings are at stake here! Mainly yours. Is he really thinking of you? I think you and he need to do some talking and find out 'why' he did this. I am questioning his motives, and I worry..will he do this to you, someday? We all think about that, in all of our relationships. But the best way to tell whether a man is good for us, is to discern his behaviors...not by what he tells a girl. My suggestion: tell him to get out of this relationship asap, and then give you a call.
A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey  +, writes (30 June 2006):
 I think if he is serious about wanting you back he should start to put the wheels in motion and start proving it, firstly by finishing the relationship he's in now.
Of course you have to be certain that you want him back for the right reasons, not just for your child's sake, you have been apart for some time now,be sure before you move him back into your life completly that the things that drove you apart in the first place have no chance of resurfacing again. The last thing you need is to give your son hope, and then dash them if things don't work out.
I would tell him you will discuss the situation again once he is single, and proves he is serious, until then get on with your own life, and don't let him mess with your head.
Good luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2006): Take note of his behaviours, dear! He's not sincere and I think you know this. You ex is having problems in his current relationship. He tells you he wants to walk back into your life but now, you find out he has no intention of leaving his gf. I'm wondering why you are asking if he's worthy, if he's not leaving her for you? Yes, he does sound like a man who plays with people's heads, he's also seems very immature, needy and lonely. Do not allow this because he's not committed to you or his son-he's only thinking of himself. You were merely his 'back-up' plan. His relationship was shaky and he didn't want to be alone. He needs to understand that when one relationship doesn't work, a mature grown up man, doesn't just flit into another one. People's hearts and feelings are at stake here and he's toying with you. If he wanted to be there with you and his son, he'd go to hell and back to be with you. So my answer to you is, No..he retains no steadfastness, no loyalty and no reliability; but most of all, he's not an honorable character. You and your son deserve better. Hold out for someone, your son can look up to as an amazing role-model and someone who can provide you both with a safe, secure, loving place in life. You want a partner/ husband you can trust fully and a man who cares for you both...someone who will respect your feelings and emotions. You don't want a man who is just coming to you for his convenience if having a cot and 3 hots..because his gf booted his ass out the door. Muster up your pride , keep your integrity intact and don't give this man another thought.
...............................
|
