| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: ive been seein this lad 4 about 2 months but friends for 5 years everything was goin great i new he wernt a virgin but thought he had only slept with 1 person today i found out when he was there that he has slept with a 20 year old women and were both 16 now i realy dont want to sleep with him as he 16 and been around a bit but i want to stay with him i also now the 2 grlz he slept and when i tink a bout this it makes me feel sick and by the way i am a virgin wat shud i do x
View related questions:
sexual past Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (30 June 2006):
 Firstly, don't have sex with him until you have condoms, and he's been STD tested. If he's been with a few women already and he's only 16, he could well have picked up some infections. So don't risk any sexual contact with him until you make sure it's safe.
I'd recommend that you step back and take things really slowly with this guy, so that you can wait and see what kind of a person he really is. It's obvious that the boy you thought you knew isn't who he actually is, and there might be more surprises in store for you.
You also need some more time to absorb the shock that you've had in finding out his sexual past. Maybe it won't seem so awful to you in a few months, or maybe you'll realise that you just can't get past it. You need to wait and see what you feel, so don't rush into an intimate relationship with him yet.
Whatever you do, remember that a 16-year-old who's had a bit of sexual experience is probably going to want to have more, and if you're his girlfriend there are two likely scenarios: first, he might put pressure on you to give it up, and second, if that doesn't work, he might try to have sex with other girls on the side.
I'm not saying your boy's a slut, but it's a pretty full-on desire for young men, and he mightn't be ready to have a non-sexual girlfriend. It's something you should keep in mind.
Personally, I think you should refrain from dating him. There's too much going on and too much disparate experience. Since you'll most likely ignore me, be sure that you go into this with your eyes open to the possible problem that he'll likely want sex, so you need to know what you're going to do when the question comes up.
|
