A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I dated a guy 5 years ago- it was great, he was a complete gentleman and he told me he really liked me, I told him I felt the same- things happened (id rather not say what) and I couldnt see him anymore, I never gave him an explanation or anything- :( Anyway about a year ago I run into him at the store. Hes been on my mind constantly since the first time I saw him 5 yrs ago so when I saw him 4 years later I almost flipped out I was so nervous. So he decides to catches me up on his life and then asks me for my phone number. I had to say no bc I had a boyfriend. Which I really wanted to give him but I'm just not the cheating type. Now I'm single. Its been 5 yrs since we dated and a yr since I last saw him- he is on my mind EVERY SINGLE DAY I've heard he has a girlfriend but I've been contemplating msging him on facebook to ask if he still wants my number. We really did have a huge connection. I never wanted to stop seeing him in the first place. Should I msg him, or just let it go?
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male
reader, AW355484  +, writes (10 July 2009):
Its complicated because i think on one hand that its too late and you shouldn't mess with his relationship, but on the other hand, You don't know if it is serious, and he could have the same feelings for you, so try and msg him and see what happens, he can only say no.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWould it change any of your answers if I told you other than me and him dating we have a little twisted history between us-? When I was dating him he was separated from his wife (who he married at 16 because she was pregnant) she left him for another man- then he met me right after my bf left me for another girl. Eventually after we dated- he got back with his wife and I got back with my boyfriend- during that time coincidently my boyfriend cheated on me with- guess who? HIS WIFE. How weird huh? Now they are divorced and finally I am no longer with my bf. That's why I say I don't know if he's serious with the girl my friend saw him with OR if they are even together he was married for about 13 years. I know I wouldn't jump right into a new serious relationship after a bad marriage (he told me back then his wife cheated a lot- when I saw him at the store she once again left him for someone else) Hmm I cant stop thinking about it anyway. Haha maybe I'm just stupid.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question2 no's one yes. That's why I've been contemplating- its not like I just became single yesterday- it was like 6 months ago. I know I "had my shot" I think I'll do as I've been doing and leave it to chance, I guess. Ha- I wrote him a message I just haven't sent it- maybe its better that way. The only reason I've been really thinking about it was because when I did see him at the store it was 4 years of complete no contact I was so nervous I hardly said anything but he stopped me (I didnt notice him til he called my name) and told me his life from then til now. I just assumed maybe I was on his mind too. I dont know- thanks for replying tho :) I dont know at all how serious him and this girl are or if they are even together (a friend saw him with a girl a few months ago)... maybe I'll run into him again sometime someplace.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2009): If you love him and willing to make things work tell him. If he is serious about his girlfriend he will not be interested. Take the chance - if you dont you both could still love one another and never find out. Its better he knows you are single than later finding out maybe married and decides he still wants to be with you - this could cause his current girlfriend more pain. Some times its best we are honest to avoid future heartache.
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A
male
reader, AW355484 +, writes (3 July 2009):
Definatley let it go, just imagine you have a boyfriend and then someone else tries to message him or get in touch...how would you feel?
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (3 July 2009):
 If you know he has a girlfriend then let it go. Don't meddle in other peoples relationships. You might get a break in the future if he becomes single again...or you might not, but it's not nice to wreck someones relationship just because we have wants and desires.
In life, just because we want something, doesn't mean we always get it. You had your shot with him in the past and now it's time to let it go.
I hope you do the decent thing.
Aunty Em x
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