A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in a relationship and I have been messing with a old flame. He is also in a relationship and has a new baby.I found out I am pregnant by him (my old flame). I have had sex with my "boyfriend" so he will think he is the father when I prepare to tell him im pregnant I have not told my old flame should I tell him or should I leave him alone or should I terminate the pregnancy?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2010): My personal opinion is that you should keep the baby and tell your boyfriend that its not his child. It may be hard, but you need to do it. And why on earth would you let your boyfriend think the baby is his when its not? Are you really so low as to where you don't even have conscience? Deal with your problems head on, like an adult.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (17 March 2010):
 State your reasons for and against keeping your pregnancy. That way , you can decide if you want the baby or not.
I think it is inadvisable to inform your old flame because what you have both done should never come into the open. It will create more problems.
Terminating your pregnancy would be the best solution to your predicament provided if you don't have any religious or moral conflicts.
The decision is yours.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2010): No one here can tell you to get an abortion. Regardless, however, I think you should come clean before you make that decision.The first decision that I think you should make is whether or not you want to salvage what is left of your relationship with your boyfriend. If your boyfriend is what is most important to you, you should stop seeing your "old flame" immediately, and come clean to your boyfriend about the affair and your pregnancy. It'll be hard, but it would be ten times worse if you lie and he finds out later. Personally, I think that you should (after you talk to your boyfriend) tell your "old flame" about the pregnancy, since it is his child and his responsibility as well. The only way that I would keep that a secret from the "old flame" is if things work out with the boyfriend and he preferred it that way.If you decide that you don't want the relationship with your boyfriend after all, tell your "old flame" about the pregnancy, and choose what you want to do regarding an abortion from there.Either way, I would not advise you to trick your boyfriend into thinking that the baby is his.
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A
female
reader, Hard_decision  +, writes (17 March 2010):
No one can tell you to get an abortion, its a decision that should be made by both parties but ultimately comes down to you. You should not keep it and tell your boyfriend its his if you know 100% its not, thats just not fair to ruin his life like that because what happens if he finds out down the track? I suggest you think long and hard about this, im sure your bf wont want to be with you after hearing you cheated..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2010): Your poor boyfriend - I feel very sorry for him, stop thinking of yourself, tell the old flame ur pregnant (wont be a shock), stop dating your boyfriend immediately if ur thinking of destroying his life like that, snap out into the real world, and conclusively decide wether u want to raise the baby on ur own, bcause no-one will be there to help u. Babies often resemble their daddies when they come out so someone will cop you've been playing away.
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