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male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I love my ex, we were together for almost 4 years. We were always arguing for probably 6 months (which was 1 of the reasons to me getting depression). The problem mostly was we never gave each other space, especialy her as she in very clingy. It was hard losing her and i didnt handle it wel, i realy went off the rails. We were so close, talked every day and txtd a lot during the day, she was my best friend. Her mum even thinks we were right together. I know she'll come back one day but should i forgive her for the things she said as well as leaving me when i had a problem and realy needed her. I feel betrayed because i was there when she had depression and tried to kill herself. Just so hurt and confused. I know i wasnt perfect either and would do things differently. Again so confused, weve been split up for 7 months but didnt stop talking until 4 months ago, in which she was ignoring me but talking to my friends and saying things to stir me up (i was txtin her weird and hurtful things to, as i was really messed up back then). I miss her so much and think about her everyday...
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male
reader, lerokiya  +, writes (27 April 2010):
It's strange how the human heart works. Ur Ex craved ur attention when u decided to cut off communication with her. I myself did the opposite. when i caught my ex cheating, I was so upset that i lashed out via facebook and texting idk how many times a day. Now its come back to haunt me. I realized that each time I tried to reach out to her, i was pushing her further away. what i should've done was distance myself like you did, and maybe there would be a chance. So thats what i'm doing now. maybe in your case your ex gf is playing the chasing game, seeing what lengths you will go to chase her now. be careful. and good luck.
A
female
reader, raiders  +, writes (26 April 2010):
 You have to be happy with yourself before you can start any relationship. You should get counseling go to group meeting, and when you feel happy with yourself than you can look for someone to love. You need to depend on you, live for you, and be happy for you, another person should not determined your moods. As for your ex girlfriend I recommend the same thing for her to get help for the depression first. Once your mental and emotional feelings are balanced out than you should try to be in a relationship with her or another. Good Luck I hope everything works out well.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (26 April 2010):
 Okay, as long as you keep thinking that you can't "forgive" your ex, you will be in emotional prison.
As long as you hold out hope that she will return to you, you will be in emotional prison.
As long as you continue to nurse your depression and see a girl who is also obviously depressed, you will be in emotional prison.
Wanna know how to break out?
Forget about her. Forgive her, if you feel she needs forgiveness. Let go of all the hurt, big and small. Stop listening to things that remind you of her. Get rid of the "mementos" of your relationship, and mentally and emotionally clean and sweep out the house of your soul. Quit any bad habits that the breakup might have sparked in you (overeating, overdrinking, drugs, self-abuse)
You have to learn to love yourself with the kind of love that needs no one else. Once you do that, slowly, you will become a much better and stronger person. And when that happens, chances are, you'll meet someone who fulfils your need to love.
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