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female
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anonymous
writes: Hey, i have already posted a few times about my boyfriend going on a working holiday overseas and not being sure if he wants me to joining yet. Well, the time finally came and I said goodbye to him at the airport the other day- it was so sad, and i cant believe he's really gone. We spent heaps of time together before he left- he made it so special, like taking photos, dinners, baths..before he left he gave me a phone so he could keep in touch, and he called when he got off the plane to say how much he will miss me. He said he will be able to tell me in about a month whether he wants me to join him or not. I'm more in love with him than ever- he is so right for me- but the thing is, if i want to join him i would have to start seriously saving etc NOW. what should i do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks you guys, for all the advice. I agree with what you say, about not having regrets or anything, so when it comes down to it, in my mind i have to go along with the idea that i will be going overseas- even if there is a possibility that i won't be. I have just finished studying, and if i want to save it means moving back home, which is really what makes this such a hard decision. To Anja- my boyfriend did originally plan this trip before he met me, with the idea of being single, free and independent etc. He says this is not about meeting other girls, and he wants the chance to go over there and experience it for himself before deciding whether to continue our relationship, but knows he will miss me, so its hard, but i agreed to let him make that decision rather than just ending things earlier on. Also, joining him isnt only about following him- i would love this opportunity to travel etc as well, and it would feel right if i was with him. Anyway, thanks again for your advice.
A
female
reader, Anja +, writes (2 June 2006):
 It's better not to REGRET full stop!! Anyway, of course it's good to take risks, but don't be disillusioned in thinking it will be all a bed of roses. Love rarely is, it has it's good days and bad too, are you both strong enough as a couple to be taking a big decision like this?
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A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (2 June 2006):
 We all need to take a chance in life, we never know whats going to happen. We have to take risks is all part of life. "Its better to have done and regret than to regret not having done!" If you guys love each other that much, then take the chance it could open up a whole new world for you! Grab onto every opportunity you get in life, its what its all about!
Good luck!
X
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A
female
reader, Anja +, writes (2 June 2006):
If you want to give up on your friends and family here for a bloke, fine, I'm sure you can stay in touch with them.
Question your motives as to why you want to be moving to a country that you don't know and know no one except your boyfriend. You may be giving up on the good things you have here, it will put a strain on the relationship for your boyfriend knowing that he will have to look after you when your there, and sorting stuff out for him too.
There is no guarantee the reltionship will continue to work. Love is not always enough for some people. The fact that he says that in a month he will be able to say whether he wants you to join him or not, indicates and indecisiveness on his part. Does he want to be with you or not?? If he does then he should have said; 'I'll let you know when the best time will be for you to come over etc.. ' Anyway, you do what you gotta do, hope it will be worth it and won't cause you heartache.
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (2 June 2006):
 Start saving, im sure if he wants you to join him he will also help out with your air fair etc.
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A
male
reader, richierich79 +, writes (2 June 2006):
 If it is the love you describe, and it sounds good from this outside source, then you already know what to do. If it ruins your personal dreams for like a job, or being near family, then you must decied what life you will enjoy more. Money should stay out of the way of love. You can always make money again, but will you find this kind of love again? I have no answer, just ?'s that may help you arrive at one. I haven't lived for you, so I can not decied for you.
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