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female
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anonymous
writes: I have met the most beautiful guy- but I don't know whether to fight for him or let him go!! I am a 23 year old chick who has been single for maybe 2 years!!! (I don't go out with people unless I really like them). last Christmas I met a really lovely guy and just recently we got together. The problem is- in November he came out of a 5 year relationship and he had said to himself that he wanted to be single for ages... you know, just do things by himslef and kind of find out again who he is. He has been honest with me from the start... saying he doesn't want a relationship. I have started getting quite attached to this guy... he's gone away for a week and we're going to make a decision (well.. I suppose really he'll be the one making the decision...) about whether we make a go at it or not. If he says no then I don't know whether to fight for him- cos I also like and respect him so much that I want him to be happy- even if that is by himself and not with me. The situations sux cos I don't often find people I really like. If two people like eachother- shouldn't they be together?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhello people, just thought I'd let you know that all has worked out well! He came back from his two weeks of "thinking time" and decided that even though it wasn't what he planned he wanted to be with me. So we are together and everything is very good! Thanks for all your help. I am keeping aware of all your advice- so thank-you. :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks! no offence taken at all. It was good for me to ask myself this, but no... I would still be into him. he is just one of those most wonderful guys who only comes along once in a while. He comes back in a week (we had two weeks "thinking" time) and if he decides he just can't go into another that is fine, I will be sad.. but i don't think I will wait for him because then I will be like a door mat as the other person suggested, and he would not want that to happen. sigh. thansk for your help... I'll let you know in a week.... :)
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (10 February 2006):
 I wish you look and hope you didnt take offence at my question.x
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank-you to all who have responded. Irish- you always give the most thoughtful and gracious responses- thank-you. I heed what some of you say about respecting whatever decision he makes- I completely will. I like this guy so much that I want him to be happy- and I completely understand him needing some time alone after a 5 and half year relationship! It certainly isn't a doormat situation, he is a very respectful and kind guy and i know this situation isn't easy for him either- just right thing wrong time. Here's hoping it works out... but if it doesn't I'll just be really thankful for the time we have spent togther.Thanks for all your help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2006): Yes. I agree love is worth fighting for if there is really something there but at the same time, you need to tread carefully, to look after yourself. You've made your 'case" to him (he knows how you feel), the ball's in his court. Accept that he might not be at the same 'place' as you in this situation. But it doesn't hurt to discreetly allow him to see the 'beautiful" you, inside and out. If there is something wonderful there, then he will see it eventually and you pointing it out to him, subtly and in a ladylike manner, might help that along. If I were you, I'd stay as dignified as possible and handle myself with class, maturity and grace. This what he'll take note of about you. It very well could happen that he'll grew more and more fond of you, to the point that he wants you, in his life, permanently. However, learn to judge and gauge the situation. If he shows a total lack of interest and starts dating other women, then you'll know, he wasn't "that into you". That's when you bow out gracefully and move on and date someone else, who really wants to give you, love and happiness. Good luck, dear and take care.
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reader, willywombat +, writes (9 February 2006):
can I ask a question? It might make you cross, but do you think you are really onto this guy, possibly because you cannot have him?
Good luck xxx
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female
reader, willywombat +, writes (9 February 2006):
can I ask a question? It might make you cross, but do you think you are really onto this guy, possibly because you cannot have him?
Good luck xxx
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reader, eddie  +, writes (9 February 2006):
 If two people like each other it would be nice if they could be together. But it sounds like you are the one who likes him. You can't be the one doing all the liking. Open your eyes. He's been honest. You've basically said you're here to be the door mat, whatever he decides.
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female
reader, wishes +, writes (9 February 2006):
 He is taking time to think this over and its not as if he is making a spare of the minute quick one. I think that whatever he says you should accept it. As hard as it will be, if he says that he doesnt want a relationship and you push him into agreeing to having one with you, he will never actually be completely committed and therefore you might find yourself being even more hurt later on down the track. You will be fine, and you will find someone else that will love you just the same. Best wishes x
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