A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hello everyone so I need an advice, I'm 23 years old and have been living with my husband for 5 years, we have 2 kids. I love my husband we recently got married through church (Catholic). Anyways so here's the thing, he has been the only man in my life sexually, but recently I have no sex drive, I don't know if I'm not sexually attracted to him, I don't know what's going on. I definitely know I love him, he sometimes has to beg me for sex, and I just let him have his pleasure. So I don't know what to do, should I just fake that I love having sex, or what can I do? Have any of you ladies experienced something similar? It has turned into a thing where if we don't have sex we fight and argue... it sucks! It really does..Any Advice??
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 November 2014):
Never fake sex. It will get you ONE thing only, bad or mediocre sex, which in turn will absolutely kill your libido. And your husband will think he is doing a great job, where he might NOT be.
TALK to your doctor.
Have you never enjoyed sex? Or has this happened AFTER the kids? If you have NEVER enjoyed sex, I suggest you figure out what make YOU enjoy it and share that with your husband.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (28 November 2014):
If you're taking an antidepressant that could be the cause.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 November 2014):
I don't think it's a good thing in a relationship to fake liking anything, especially something as fundamental as sex. As you have found, it can cause trouble. A sizable amount of problems in a relationship can be traced to sex.
I think what is more important is to look at your relationship, and look at what can change. You say he has to beg - that probably puts you off for a start. You also mention that you have two kids - so you're probably also tired or preoccupied. I'll be it's the usual problems - real life has just dampened the urge for it.
Sit down alone first, and work out perhaps where you need him to be more supportive, or where you need more from your own life (Social life for example). Then sit with him and talk about it.
But, honestly, don't do something just because you think you have to. You'd be better sitting, thinking, talking.
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