A
male
age
51-59,
*aylor01
writes:I am in a turmoil mentally. I have been seeing a married woman for just over 2 years now. She still lives with her 9 yr old boy and husband (who does obviously not know about us) but their marriage is now one of convenience after 16 years. She says she will leave him but needs to feel strong enough in order to do it, but its been 2 years since she wanted to do it and still nothing has changed for us. I have been so patient and waited for her all this time without pressuring her. We only see each other once a week and as time has gone on its got to me so much that I feel I should end it. We love each other so much, but I feel as people, we are very compatible but our lifestyles are not. She is not a strong minded person and has never had her own independance which makes me doubt her ability to end things with him. I also feel because I love her and fancy her so much that its making me blind to whats right about the situation. Morally I feel its wrong to be in this situation, but you cant help who you fall in love with I guess.Now this last week, I actually met another woman, single, and we get on great, and our lifestyles match. It pains me to end things with the woman I have been seeing as I know it would totally devastate her but I know its not a reason to stay with her just in case she decides to sort things out and leave her husband. should I still wait for her, or is it time to move on? I just dont know anymore and its making me so unhappy.
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female
reader, rambini +, writes (13 April 2010):
 seriously, i dont mean to be offensive but you need to wake up and see sense. "She says she will leave him but needs to feel strong enough in order to do it". this is the oldest line in the book. if she was going to do it she would have done it by now. you deserve someone who can share your life with you and give you the time, love, and attention you deserve. she may be upset but she is the one who is married, you deserve your chance at happiness and you are not getting it from her. this new girl seems really good for you, i think you need to give it a go and see what happens!! this could be your chance at happiness, dont let it pass you by for someone who is never going to commit to you.
best of luck x
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (13 April 2010):
The married woman is not going to leave, so it's best to move on.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): Why do you even want to kill family of married women and kid and her Poor DH.i feel you should immediately get yourself off their marriage and focus on some one that is meant purely for you till death makes you apart..
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A
male
reader, Taylor01 +, writes (13 April 2010):
Taylor01 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your responses. The general comments I also get from my friends and family are all along the lines you guys have mentioned. She did even admit she has the best of both worlds to me and shes scared to hurt anyone which holds her back, but as I said, Ive patiently waited 2 years for this woman but just seems our lives are destined not to be together. It makes me sick at the thought Id have to put her through the hurt as she says shes so scared of losing me and wants me in her life. I do trust her that shes not messing me around. I can handle the hurt, times a healer, I just hope she can feel that way too.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (13 April 2010):
 Sorry to be this brutally honest. Like you said, it's morally wrong to be involved with a married woman. I know nobody's perfect, so I won't cast stones at you (though I might insult you with my post). It seems like your married woman isn't going to divorce her husband. I have the hunch that she would have done that very long ago if she really wanted it. I also have the feeling that many a woman divorces her husband even if no one is around, provided they can't stand the man anymore.
I guess you should try to think beyond this cool new woman you've met. You should determine whether you want to stay in this relationship with the married woman, or not. If not, then you can try your luck with the other girl. Or any other.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (13 April 2010):
 You should move on from the married lady. If she can not make any decision within those two years, she will not be able to make any decisions 5 or 10 years down the road.
Love is blind and now that you have woke up, you should correct your situation and go back to the straight road.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (13 April 2010):
 Move on. There is no future with the married woman, and since you said that she wasn't strong minded, who's to say she wouldn't or isn't cheating on YOU?
Look ahead, not behind.
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