A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:please help me, i'm 16 and have been going with my boyfriend for 1year and 9months, but when i'd only been with him for a month i left him for my ex. i really regret this and would never be unfaithful to him, however, my boyfriend has trouble beleieving this any really doesn't trust me. every time i go out without him he thinks i'll cheat on him and now, we're at the stage where we are arguing every day about silly little things that shouldn't matter. i really feel as if i am being pushed to the limit and don't know what to do. the last thing i want is for us to split up but i really am fed up of the arguments and every argument we have i feel like i'm one step closer to ending it although i really don't want to. please help me, what should i do?
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (29 October 2009):
Lola1 has it right. There's no point in him sitting there and being jealous, but you not knowing why. You need to sit him down and talk to him about it. His jealousy, if left unchecked, will force you apart eventually. So you need to talk to him and ask him why he feels this way.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you. i'll try talking to him again and see if we can sort things out
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A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (29 October 2009):
 I would have a conversation with him. It can be done without accusation or anger. Being matter of fact, simply tell him that you are hurt he does not trust you and that the arguments are tearing you apart as a couple.
Ask for his input. How can you help him feel better?
While you may feel badly about ending things to go with your ex WELL OVER A YEAR AGO, you did nothing wrong. You do not deserve to feel guilty or to be deemed "untrustworthy". You broke up with him, you did not cheat on him.
His misplaced insecurity and jealousy can not hold you hostage.
If you can not work this out reasonably, that dictates the quality of the relationship. The quality of a relationship is determined not by how long you've been together, not by how many things you have in common, but how well you can work through issues together.
Good luck.
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