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Should I email him or wait until I see if he emails me first?

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 April 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 8 January 2008)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Ok i started this job last summer, and there i met this great guy, whom is ten years older that me, im 20 and he is 30 but that not an issue. He is funny smart, fit, and attractive. We had been doing some major flirting by way of eye contact, touches, and we even shared a secret saying that we used to whisper across the office to each other. It was so obvious to us, and everyone in the office that there was a connection between to pair of us. He appears very assertive and confident in the office, so why didn't he ever ask me out?. I think maybe he just could have been keeping things proffesional because of our working relationship.

Last week was my last day at that job, as i go off to start a new job soon, and i was really emotional leaving. He asked me if i wanted a lift to the bus stop and i accepted. I said my goodbys and we went. On the way down there he asked for my E mail address which i gave him, and vice versa. We cuddled, shared eye contact as i got out, then i went.

All this was last week and i have not recieved an e mail yet, but i am eagerly waiting, wondering if i will ever hear, or see him again. Should i Email him before he does me, or should i wait. I really want to see him again.

Any advice on this would be great, thanks xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008):

i don't understand, this sort of thing happens to me all the time. if someone asks for your email address, why wouldn't they email you soon if they are interested?

when i ask for someone's email becuz i want to stay in touch, then i definitely email them.

guys repeatedly ask for my email and then they don't email, usually it seems it's becuz they weren't interested enough, they were just trying to see if they could get it (sort of like guys asking for your number at bars and never calling), or they wanted it just in case.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2007):

Usually when a guy likes someone, he will definitely make the move. since he hasnt done anything, there must be something holding him up. Does he have a girlfriend? How well do you know the guy? He might just like the attention from you but does not like you enough to make the move.

If you really do think that he does like you and that he is single, then what are you waiting for? people spend too much time waiting. It is always better to find out the score than just keep waiting. whats wrong if you emaling him first? whats the worst that can happen? if he doesnt like you then move on! you have nothing to lose!

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A male reader, honeyross United Kingdom +, writes (8 April 2007):

honeyross agony auntYou might both be playing the waiting game.

The problem with being the first to make a move is that you risk rejection (what if he doesn't reply, or brushes you off?).

The alternative is not to contact him (so the thinking goes - "if he liked me he'd contact me") but then you might be giving the impression that you don't like him.

Why not email him? Don't be too gushy - just something friendly. Who knows? He might reply and you might start dating, or he might be married or something and won't reply. Whatever happens, you gotta ring them bells.

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