A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay so I lost my virginity about a month ago to a guy who I liked very very much, but he didn't feel the same way. Basically he used me, So then I thought I was pregnant and some how my school found and was talking about it non stop. Well the guy move, cause his mom got a new job. So one random night his best friend wanted to chill, my best friends ex, and some how we ended up having sex, biggest mistake ever, I did not want to at all, but he tricked me. So like last night my ex found out and he asked me about it, and I had told him the truth, ughh, Well he said we he comes back over the summer to visit that I should give him oral, but we cant have sex, well because of this, But I really want to. Do you think I should just do it, or I shouldn't , cause I really want him back. Help me please. Should I do what he wants or should I not?
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female
reader, Neanthia  +, writes (16 May 2010):
 There are laws in America that would make your situation illegal. That doesn't mean your situation doesn't happen her though, unfortunately. Ok now that I've said that let me also say: Are you ready to be a mother before you graduate? You say that found out you thought you were pregnant, in America any teenage who says that is often labeled with a bad reputation that is incredibly hard to shake. Boys will look down on you for behavior like this. Are you ready to be a mother?
THERE IS NO SAFE SEX!
The is a 1% chance of the Pill or a condom failing, I, am that one percent talking to you!
It happens!
This whole "friends with benefits" concept makes me sick. Sure, I've met girls like that, with horrible reputations mind you.
You "really want him back" as you say, but don't let yourself be used. Take pride in yourself that you are more than a piece of meet. Ok lecture over.
Maybe some girls are ok with having sex with a man they don't love.
I'm not, and I don't understand how you are. I always thought of sex as an expression of love so strong, that "it is the only bridge left to cross between you two",
I love that line.
I personally plan on having sex only if that line can be applied to my relationship.
There are tons of guys out there, find one who loves you and maybe in a year or two, then have sex with him.
Good Luck ;)
A
female
reader, genntonic  +, writes (16 May 2010):
My advice is that giving in to what he wants is a very bad idea. Empower yourself by telling him you will not accept this kind of treatment and expectations and are moving on to better things. At the moment you are very young and this attention you are receiving from these boys makes you feel important and special. I am 28 and attention from boys still makes me feel special! However, I also know from experience that these boys are most likely using you and if you allow this to continue you will most likely end up getting badly hurt.
I hope this helps some ;). Good luck
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A
female
reader, laetitia  +, writes (15 May 2010):
 Hey, using sex is not how you get a guy! If anything, he would think that you are easy and will not respect you. I don't know what you should do, but doing him sexual favors is not the way to get him back. If he is leaving for the summer, then it probably won't work anyway.
You can try telling him that since he was your first one, he is special to you and that you want a relationship. Chances are that at his age, he won't get it, but you can try.
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A
female
reader, ffogalilly +, writes (15 May 2010):
Don't allow him to use you like that, if he is going to treat you that way, why in the hell do you want to be with him?
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (15 May 2010):
 It took me a while to find out who is who but both guys are just using you. He's not your boyfriend, so he can't talk like you owe him some favor to win him back. You are having a distance relationship, and the first thing he wants to do when he visits is an oral. Remember he's a user, not a boyfriend, so you can't get him back because there is not a "him", a caring, loving boyfriend at the first place. You didn't have him, you didn't have his heart so you didn't lose anything and there's no need to feel guilty. Redirect your focus on loving your self instead of trying to use sex to get a guy to like you. Sex without heart and soul is unhealthy for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2010): If you're 13-15 when you get to about 16/17 your going to realise how young you are.
I lost my virginity at 15, now I'm 18 I regret it so much
don't sleep around, have some self respect AND stop acting like your in your 20's, I don't talk that way and neither do any of my other older friends.
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A
male
reader, riv +, writes (15 May 2010):
If you are under 16 ( and it does sound like you are ) you shouldn't be having any kind of sex, and esp. not with someone who seems to be taking advantage of your youth and inexperience.
The law is there for a good reason. Stay away from this man and give sex a rest for at least a year or two.
There are other ways to enjoy friendships, even with the opposite sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2010): Gosh, I seem to be reading so many questions from young girls under 15 about having sex with boys, and I find it very worrying. This is not about making a judgement, but my answer,is given out true concern for your emotional and physical well-being. Regardless how grown up we feel at 13, 14 or even 16, we have not had enough time to develop emotionally to make sound decisions about having sex with boys. As I say this not about a moral high-ground, just hopefully some guidance for you.
For the first time since answering questions on here, I'm going to say please STOP having sex with boys who appear from your question, not to care about you as a person. You must allow yourself time to build a very good friendship with a boy before you have sex with him. Having sex is not just about the act, it should be part of a relationship that is caring and loving, regardless of age.
NO dont have oral sex with this boy when he returns, don't have oral sex with any boy who asks you for it, nor expect it as though it's as normal as brushing your teeth, or shaking hands, it isn't, and it's not safe health wise to be having sex with different boys without taking precautions.
If you decide you are going to continue with these boys, then please take precautions, so ONE, you don't get pregnant, and TWO, you don't get a sexually transmitted disease. You are not EXEMPT from a STD because you're 13, so please, please be careful, and don't let you body be used by boys who are NOT ready themselves emotionally to embark on a proper and loving relationship with you.
Jilly X
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A
female
reader, yjng12kic11 +, writes (15 May 2010):
Hunny if he aint gonna sleep with u over a mistake then dont do......u may think ur in love but ur young guys come and go....im a single mom and i have guys coming left and right....trust me youll find some one better who will want to be with u nomatter what
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