A
female
age
30-35,
*ightstar
writes:I am 19 and a thirty year old graduate student at my school went with me to the movies. I wasn't sure it was a date but he paid and kissed me on the cheek afterwards. He acted like a perfect gentleman and suggested another movie we could see and then he said " I really had a nice time and called to make sure I was safely at home"I have been sexually assaulted recently so I am not myself and definitely don't want to have sex, plus I'm a virgin. He hasn't said anything sexual but he is older than me. I don't even know if I like him in that way because I always thought he saw me as a friend. Was it a date? Should I date him to find out if I like him? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (22 October 2008):
 Idk if they do or not, but even if they do, who cares?
A
female
reader, nightstar +, writes (22 October 2008):
nightstar is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat was what I was hoping.
BUT, a male family member of mine said that men do not look at women well if they date a much older man.
Do men feel this way??!
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (22 October 2008):
Yes that was a date, and you should date him to find out if you like him.
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A
female
reader, calicomist +, writes (21 October 2008):
Hi-
Yes, life is too short and we only live once. He's only asking about a movie. As long as you are in public, with a lot of people around you, you should be safe, right?
There are many kinds of men on this planet, and not all are lotharios or boyfriend material. Some may be really good friends. If this man was a member of a spport group that you belong to, would you go to a movie with him?
Hang your expectations on a shelf, and go have some fun. I'm sure your goal is to recover from the sexual assault, and further your chosen career and studies, so isn't healthy progress and experiences for you more important?
You can set the parameters: a double date, the time of the evening, where you go to see a movie, which movie to see-whatever makes you feel comfortable until you get to know this man. Use the tools at your disposal and go for it. Recovery begins with that first step.
So my answer is, go for it!
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