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Should I cut contact with the girls I used to flirt with and focus on the one I really like?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Crushes, Friends, Teenage, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 December 2013) 5 Answers - (Newest, 9 December 2013)
A male United States age 30-35, *ustToonz writes:

I feel bad about this whole situation, okay there is this amazing girl whom my eyes were always attracted to and I've kept my eye on this chick for months I never made a move, I never even talked to her before and last Monday I was flirting with a few girls via Facebook and I got up the guts to finally talk to her and I messaged her and me and her started talking for a long time, we continued to message each other back over and over again and she asked for my number I gave her it.

so its been a week and were still texting and she tells me she honestly has feelings for me and I really do like this chick, she makes me feel so happy, but I kind of feel wrong because the day I met her, I was also flirting with these girls and it was only 3 and I was telling them I liked them even though I said it out of desperation, I did not mean it at all, but I feel so terrible, I honestly like this girl and I don't know what I would do if she was to be gone and stop talking to me,

I have a lot of confidence that she's about to be my girlfriend and I hate feeling like the day that I met her is the day I was desperately flirting with girls, and I have seen this girl a lot and I never knew her but I kept her at the back of my mind and the other girls I was just flirting with, I don't know anything about them but they were flirting with me back I feel bad.

Is This Wrong? or ok? I feel horrible please help! how do I cope with this situation? do I delete the girls from my friends list and stop talking to them period and focus on what really matters which is the main girl who I like.?

View related questions: confidence, facebook, flirt, period, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2013):

if you want her to take you seriously, stick to the one girl.

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A female reader, Rebeccaa United Kingdom +, writes (7 December 2013):

Rebeccaa agony auntYes cut contact with these other girls, if you genuinely like this girl. Honestly i wouldn't want to even think about starting to date someone who was flirting with loads of other girls. Females want to feel special, if she knows you're telling other girls you like them and what not she isn't going to feel special, shes just going to feel like another girl you flirt with when this time that isn't the case.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2013):

To answer your question, l'ld say yes.

Why would you settle for less?

Go for the best, and that's the one you really like.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (7 December 2013):

Honeypie agony auntYep, cut the contact with the girls your flirted with and un-friend/block them, so you aren't tempted to get your little ego stroke from a quick flirt with one of them.

Don't feel bad that you flirted with them the same day you made your move, my guess is it's what gave you the "ooumph" to contact her. HOWEVER, IF you start to date this (or any other girl) you DO NOT FLIRT on FB or text/sext) other chicks. You may think it's just fun and games and harmless... It's not.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (7 December 2013):

Ciar agony auntSevering contact with the other girls you flirt with would be the sensible and most obvious course of action.

As for feeling bad, what is it that bothers you exactly? Is it regret for having lied to the other girls or fear that the one you have a crush on will find out and assume you're a player?

I wouldn't bring it up. You don't know she hasn't been flirting with anyone either. I would quietly extricate myself from any involvement with the others and move forward with the new one.

If she does find out, don't make up a lot of excuses. Be honest and tell her what you told us. That you'd liked her for a long time, but never had the nerve to approach her until then. Do NOT say the other girls meant nothing. It's cliché and she either won't believe it or she'll just think you're a user of women.

Again, don't bring it up. Put in in the past and leave it there.

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