A
female
age
51-59,
*ebie870
writes:I'm in a relationship with the sweetest man I've ever met.He is thoughtful caring and loving,but the problem is he doesn't care to make love.He says were at different stages in life where I'm in my 30's and wanting intimate love and he is 40 and not so much after sex.Is there any advice I can try?Or do I go on feeling frustrated? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009): yikes! my hubby is 48 and believe me darlin' he still has it happening.At your man's age you shouldn't be able to turn over at night without him reaching... that age thing is totally a cop out. there may be a valid explanation but to blame it on being 40 just doesn't wash to me. He may have always had a low sex drive or may have a relatively new problem but he should see a doctor. Good luck, mal
A
male
reader, duce00 +, writes (18 November 2009):
 Im almost 40 I think I'm about average on sexual drive.
Recently I was removed from Home Depot for an unnatural act with a shop-vac. The police officer was 50 and reminded me with a big smile that Lowes has them on sale and he got one just the other day.
Sorry I couldn't resist!!!!
Your man is probably low on testosterone. Doesn't exercise much and has a poor diet I am guessing? He should go see a doc and start getting everything he can out of his life AND his sex life with you.
If he wants to be sweet and limp you do not have to settle for him. Trust me there IS better out there.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009): Sounds like he is just in denial... could be medical and he doesn't want to admit it. Being 40 is not really an excuse. I myself am in a relationship with a soon to be 41 year old man. He is overweight and has some medical conditions, and erectile dis-function... it is hard to deal with it but just because he has this problem does not mean he does not want sex from me. I think there is seriously something wrong with this man you are seeing. Did he think he could really find someone younger than him that would not crave sex?? that is not the case(i'm sure). If you both have had sex before then what's the problem now? he should take responsibility of the situation and feed your sexual appetite because if i was him, I would not give you the free way of looking for other men to satisfy you. (but of course i'm not saying you're like that), but anything can happen when "SEX" is no longer fed in the bedroom of a couple. If he's so caring, thoughtful and loving well then he should care enough to fix his problem to make you feel good in the sex department and otherwise. But change can only occur if he is willing. Please talk to him... humans can't be tortured like this! Sex is the most important part of a relationship. Have you guys been having problems?? Financial, relationship wise, anything?? Seems like there's something in his mind you might not know about. He might be bothered. I know when my bf and I argue a lot, I won't want sex. I just don't crave it and i can go without sex for a very long time if I'm upset. So ask him what the real problem is.
Good luck! (:
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009): I find this questionable. You and I are about the same age and we haven't reached our sexual peak yet. So I don't think that you should continue to be frustrated. No one really wants to truly admit it, but sex is VERY IMPORTANT in a relationship. There is more going on to what he is saying.It could be a number of factors, medications, ED, physical and/or mental disorders, or I hate to say it but he may have a wife or girlfriend. The possibilities are endless. Have you sat down and really discussed this with him? I hope that the two of you can have a heart to heart and get to the bottom of this.The decision is really yours. If you can remain in the relationship without sex, then he is the perfect man for you. If you are human like the rest of us, I don't know how long you will be able to last without it. I hope that this helps. Best of luck to you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009): i am 33 and i love sex more than any thing on earth and i know men in thier fifties who want even more sex than i do
but during to a depprision i had when i was 29 i lost my sexual desire and it took about 8 month to recover
see a therapistast is the best thing i can say
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009): Sorry hun, but this is not something that is going to go away. Can you live without sex at your young age? The answer to that question will give you the freedom to make the decision in your best interest. He is getting older, not younger. If he has this problem now, it can only get worse, whatever worse is???
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009): 40 is very young to loose interest in sex. May be his testosterone level is low, he can check it and start taking supplements. Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009): I'm with Gina, he's 40 not 140.
You should talk to him and get him to explain more what he means
Good Luck
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