A
female
,
anonymous
writes: hi, ive been through alot of shit in my life and somehow have managed to come out of it all.ive been heart broken twice and hurt.currently i am livin in the opposite side of the country to my parents, i am studyuing and when im finished i am expected to move back down with them, partly because of their culture and because of religion although we are not living in the country my parents are originally from, we are in england.i was born here and born into a muslim family, i believe in my religon but that doesnt mean i believe i have to follow all the rules.i am expected to cover my hair and eventually marry someone of the same religion, i have met someone who i am falling for very much and he wants to take things further i have met his parents and he is hinting about meeting mine.we have been seeing each other for two months and recently he has backed off a bit probably due to the fact when he comes close i am moving away because i am afraid. he doesnt even know im muslim or anything and i dont want to move back with my parents. what do i do?thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2007): Hi, Im sorry to hear that you are in such dilemma! You obviously care very much about your religion and your family and you don't want to hurt their feelings. They have wants and ambitions for you wanting you to move home and marry within their religion and culture. But will this make YOU happy? No matter what your religions and beliefs, you are your own person. If you believe in a God, then God gave everyone freewill to make their own decisions and choices. You ave a duty to your family but they also have a duty to you, to see that you are happy and fulfilled in life. You also have a duty to yourself, to make yourself happy and achieve what you want and fall in love with who you want. I don't doubt that your feelings for this guy are genuine, he may not be the 'one' but there will be someone out there for you. If you truly like this guy tell him about your family, he'll understand. If he doesn't then he's not worth this trauma anyway!! Life is too short to live with regrets. Live it YOUR way.xxx
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (30 April 2007):
You need to be honest with him and tell him how you're feeling. You say you believe in your religion, just not all the rules. You don't say how old you are but if you're over the age of 18 then you can choose for yourself what you want to do with your life and whether or not you want to continue seeing this man. Remember, he will be falling for you also and it's not fair on him to keep backing off with no valid reason.
Have a talk with him, let him know your fears and maybe he will even be able to give you some pointers.
Eve
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