A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I have been in a serious relationship with a man I am deeply in love with for eight months now. I have a gut feeling that he will be the one I marry.Before we were in a relationship, we kissed a few times within a period of a week. The first time we kissed, I told him I wanted to wait a bit before jumping into a relationship, because I had been in my prior relationship for a while. During that week I ended up kissing another man, my ex. It was purely a friends with benefits thing, and made that clear.I have never told my partner about this, and have always wondered if I should. On the one hand, he has no clue about this situation, and keeping it from him makes me feel guilty (I value honesty a lot). On the other hand, I'm not sure if it's something he really needs to know about (I am not a cheater and as long as we are together he has nothing to worry about). What do you think?
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friend with benefits, kissing, my ex, period Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2007): When you say you believe in honesty,do you know the meaning of the word? I truly hope he finds out and leaves you and finds a `honest` wife who`s a wee bit less selfish. You are cheating. End of story.
A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (30 April 2007):
 I am a bit confused. You kissed your ex one time eight months ago before you were officially involved with your current beau and you worry NOW if you should tell him? Unless I am missing something here, this is so far in the past and so not pertinent that I dont really understand why you are asking the question. If I am missing something here, please clarify. Are you currently seeing the ex?
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A
female
reader, trueheartconfused +, writes (30 April 2007):
Don't tell your boyfriend if you plan to marry him someday !
Men usually will not tolerate such a thing, no matter how much he loves you .Once you told him , he will lose all the respect for you and likely to leave you , even if he does not leave you right away, it is unlikely he will marry you and you two have happy ending .
I am not saying you should keep him in the dark forever, you should really seriously consider leaving your ex ,
"friends with benefits" only benefits him , your ex will be
thrilled to have someone on the side to sleep with and do
not have to have any emotional responsibilities, he has nothing to loose, but you have everything to lose, if this goes on long enough , your boyfriend is bound to find out,once he finds out , your relationship will change forever, it will never be the same.
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (30 April 2007):
 I'm sorry, but your relationship isn't that serious if you can still go to your ex and kiss him and you're definitely not "deeply in love" with him or you would never even consider doing what you're doing. If this kiss with your ex was a one off then I would forget it and not even mention it to your current boyfriend, you were probably a bit confused and at the end of the day you say you DO value honesty...
Your ex should be exactly that... YOUR EX! To remain loyal to your current boyfriend you should NOT be kissing your ex. Forget it (if it was just the one time) but from now on, remain loyal to your boyfriend as I'm sure he is with you.
Eve
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