A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So this is quite complicated. I have posted questions here as the situation developed, but now I am in real need of some help.My bf and I have been dating rather happily for nearly a year now. I love him very much, he's my best friend, not to mention the guy I gave my virginity to. There is one problem though, his closest friend is a very attractive young woman who is a stripper that he has been friends with since childhood. I had this hunch that he had feelings for her beyond friendship, but he would always play it down if I asked.Over the span of our relationship more things have arisen, such as him making her something beautiful for her birthday, but barely acknowledging mine, along with saving her silly cute texts. He also just seems happy around her. I want him to be happy, but it was starting to make me uncomfortable.He and I finally hashed it out because I couldn't continue acting like it was no big deal. He said that a lot of his attachment to her is sentimental, and he just can't let her go. He admitted that he loves her and finds her very attractive. He claims that he loves me more, but he sometimes feels more attracted to her. He likes her tall, thin body, as opposed to my short curvier one.I know looks aren't everything, but they do mean something, especially paired with love. I've always had body issues, and I am a physically recovered anorexic/bulimic, and he knows this. Recovered meaning I've gained weight, which makes me feel disgusted with myself. It hurts to know that he may find her to be more beautiful than me AND he loves her too.I really love him and want a future with him, marriage, kids, etc. Should I continue in this relationship that is currently making me feel depressed, or should I call it quits?Thanks so much for answering.
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female
reader, theastronaut  +, writes (26 October 2011):
hi there,
i am so sorry that this is happening to you. he has no right to treat you like that -- you are a beautiful human being and you deserve to be with somebody who thinks you are the greatest.
if i were you, which i'm obviously not, i would break up with him. i understand that you might find that difficult because as you've said you want him in your future, but there are so many men out there who could be better for you, who would treat you like YOU are the one who matters the most.
at the end of the day, it is your decision, and you have to think about what would make you happy. we can't force your hand.
best of luck :)
A
female
reader, babu3u +, writes (26 October 2011):
 That just awful! For him to tell you that sometimes he feels more attracted to her then you. :( How would he feel if you tell him that you find your really good guy friend more attractive then him? Of course you are going to feel depress and down because he is making you feel this way. You shouldn't be with someone like that. But you should be with someone that makes you feel like you are the only girl for him and that no one can take your place. From what I am reading he acts as if that friend of his is more important. You shouldn't have to deal with that. He won't stop being this girl's friend and feeling the way he does. And in the end you are going to be the one getting hurt. I believe you should really think about it and see if you can actually continue with this. If you continue the relationship you are going to have this resentment and the relationship is going to turn bad to worse.
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