A
female
age
41-50,
*upid lover
writes:My ex and I broke up 7 months ago. We only dated for 6 months and he was having a terrible time from the 2nd month we were dating and onwards. His ex-wife was demanding money, his father died and he moved house all in the space of a month (that was the 3rd month we were dating). After that things were OK but pretty much went downhill from there.This was a long distance relationship but we were seeing each other every 2-3 weeks. He came to visit me for my birthday and the next day he went home and I never heard from him ever again. Itried calling him 3 times, emailing (he had blocked me) and sent a few texts all over the space of about 5 weeks and never heard anything from him ever again. For my own closure I wrote him a text (tried to call but he didn't answer the phone) saying that I though it was sad that it had ended like this and there has been no contact since.I was devastated. He told me that he was in love with me 2 months into the relationship and I never said it back only because I never felt like the time was right. After the drama that had occurred in his life I didn't feel like he was really present and we only ever spent 2-3 days together at a time. Though, he did hint to me a few times that he was waiting for me to say it back but I never did. I like to move slowly and I told him that a few days after he told me that he loved me.I assumed if he really loved me he would wait. His birthday is exactly one month after mine and I was planning to make the day great for him because his life had been so messy and would have said it then but I never got the chance because he disappeared. It took me a while to move on from this but since the beginning of the year I really didn't think about him that much and completely moved on with new goals, had a bit of therapy etc. Now, for some reason yesterday I started thinking of him out of nowhere........ it is exactly a year since he told me that he was in love with me. Maybe that's why? I'm not sure.....I feel that he was hurt by me throughout the relationship and that I held back a bit. He has children which made things even more tricky as he didn't want to introduce me at a time where there had been so much turmoil in their lives which I did understand but also I felt like a secret and I hated that.I don't think that I would want to date him again, mainly because of his horrible ex and family situation BUT I do genuinely worry about him because of his tough time and the fact that he is super sensitive. Even if he wanted to call me he wouldn't because I was the one to say bye bye but that was only for my peace of mind. Even though the way he walked away was cowardly and hurtful, he was so gorgeous to me while we were together. I feel like I want to text him just to say that I hope he is OK. I was the only one that he really reached out to last year when he was going through the bad times and feel for him.Is this a realy stupid idea considering that just disappeared from my life for good with no explanation?Would that make me pathetic? Or it OK to check up on your ex out of genuine concern?
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broke up, ex-wife, his ex, long distance, money, move on, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (31 May 2013):
 No point contacting him he cut you out of his life, with no thought about the pain he will cause you. Just move on dont get lost in the past as he is not worth it. You will only feel worst and more miserable if you call and he ignores you or be rude.
Remember nothing stopped him from reaching out to you.
A
female
reader, Fender +, writes (31 May 2013):
Maybe a little of both.No it doesn't make you stupid. I personally i think it just make you more human. Sadly to humanity is somewhat rare.Yes it was kind of cruel and cowardly of him to do it in such way. Think of this way, he could be a little embarrassed. from what you said i gather you guys just past the getting to know you stage so the whole thing was still quite new and unsure. Then he introduce to all this drama and maybe broke down in front you few time [not that we could blame him] could have put few dent in his egos and pride. then you left [again no one can blame you, it lot to take in]he prob though he scared you off with all his drama. So he pull the pug on ya. i guess him doing a runner was his way of trying to avoid more drama.From happen i dont think he in the right mind frame to in a relationship let alone long distance.As for being worried about him that human nature. Trust i know feeling i exp, still do with one my ex. i mean despite how those men treated us, we saw something something good about them that made and imprint. we eventually learn to care. Could we really someone we care about in a bad places.
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A
female
reader, khot +, writes (31 May 2013):
 Just let him go dear, why would you want to contact some who blocked you. Haven't you dated any one within this one year? Do u still miss him? I really don't get what you want from him. Concern? Believe me if you call him he will get mixed signals and might take advantage. You are blaming yoself yet he left and blocked you I'm puzzled. But good luck
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