A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am wondering if I should contact my ex? (guy #2) We haven't spoken in 3 and a half years. He was not my first love but the guy I who made me fall really had for. He ended up breaking up with me after a month of dating when one of our fights escalated to me accusing him of cheating on me. When we first starting going out he knew I had just broken up with my other ex(guy #1) like a week prior. That other ex(guy # 1) had a hard time letting me go. My ex (guy #2) couldn't understand why I didn't just completely cut guy # 1 out of my life. We ended up fighting and almost breaking up over it. So I completely stopped talking to (guy # 1) for (guy # 2). We were fine for about two weeks after that. Then one of his friends(guy # 2) died and he basicly didn't see me for a week. Then the day we were supposed to have together alone, he basicly tagged along with his friend. So we spent the whole day with this other guy and I kept thinking me and (guy # 2) would spend sometime together. It ended with me being upset bc some random girl kept flirting with him and he basicly told her you know that's my gf. (pointing to me) I still got upset bc she wouldn't stop trying to flirt with him. I didn't do anything but was pretty mad about the whole thing (not at him obviously). I kept waiting the whole night since he said he would spend the night with me at my house and he ended up telling me at the end of the night he just wanted to go home alone. Asked me if I was mad? and I said no, you're just hiding things from me and I slammed his car door. I was upset because I felt like he didn't really want to spend time with me and that it was his way off blowing me off. The next day I texted him saying I wasn't going to apologize for the night before and we got into a full blown argument. He said me slamming the door was like me going to his house and punching a hole in his wall unacceptable. He said me accusing him of hiding things is just messed up and if I didn't trust him then obviously we weren't meant to be. That after the door and my ex that it was the last straw. About 2 years later he tried to talk to me by my house but I just walked away from him. I was wondering if I should try to write him a letter explain why I snapped that day and apologize? Do you think he would be willing to listen?
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female
reader, TEM +, writes (24 March 2011):
 If you haven't seen him in a year and a half, it is quite possible that he has moved on. You can contact him, but don't be surprised if you are disappointed by the contact. He did come to see you two years after that big fight, but you didn't want to talk. At that point he may have given up, and moved on with his life. Offering an apology/explanation year and a half later might not have the results you expect. However, nothing ventured, nothing gained. He may talk to you. I am just advising you to guard your heart in case he is very involved with someone else and doesn't treat you very nicely.I do not know if he will listen to you or not. However, you need to ask yourself what you hope to achieve by making this contact, and how disappointed/hurt you might be if he is rude to you. In other words, you need to ask yourself if contacting him is worth the risk.
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