A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I have been dating for a few months and taking a break for the last two weeks.My ex and I separated after a two year, loving relationship just last Thanksgiving. We took our time to be alone and in that time I met my new girlfriend. She was very sweet and kind and we hit it off right away. I was 100% honest with her and told her that I'd just gotten out of a long relationship and it would be hard to date again. Despite my worries we decided to take things slow.However, she started telling me she loved me, in which I immediately told her that I can't tell her that back because of how soon its been since we met and how soon its been since my break up. We started talking and I admitted that I still think about my ex a lot. She knew that I still had baggage before we started dating, but it still was hurtful for her to hear. After a lot of talking we decided to take a few weeks apart so I could confront some of my past.Now, I've basically determined that my feelings for my ex aren't going anywhere and I'm in no condition to be in a relationship with anyone at the moment. I've tried telling her this, but she still says she'll wait for me. But I don't want her to! I don't want to promise her I'll love her someday; I don't think thats something I should be expected to promise her after only two months!I need to end this relationship, otherwise she's just going to get dragged along and hurt even worse. I still really like her and do not want to see her so hurt. I know this is going to be really hard on her, but how do I go about making this as painless as possible.I realize it won't be easy at all, and I do really care about her; I'd still really like for us to have a friendship, she really is a wonderful person.I've never been the person doing the dumping before :/ how can I do this in a very sensitive and understanding manner? Thank you very much for the help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2011): Give it a bit of time maybe to see if Love re-grows but if not then think to yourself what love actually is and if you can see yourself and this girl having a future together? If not - i think ending the relationship may be an option if there's no future it would be cruel to keep going with this girl who may be in deeper than you are.
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