A
female
age
30-35,
*riaz
writes:I met a great guy on an online dating site last summer. We only went out once, but I liked him. He's everything I'm looking for in a guy - Tall, Smart (med student), Asian, caring, compassionate, etc... The only problem is...he goes to school in another state. When he's back in town, he and I live pretty close. We were considering giving it a try a last summer, but because of the distance, ultimately decided that it wouldn't be a good idea. We talked a lot last summer, even though we only went on one date. We tried to make more plans, but we both had other things planned already. He went on vacation, and I did as well. When summer ended, he went back to school. We've kept in contact throughout this past year, but we're both pretty busy too. He's busy with school, and I'm busy with work (RN). He'll be coming back next week, but he'll be studying for his boards for another month. I asked him if he wanted to go to two particular leisure places, since I recently found out he loves a particular sport, even though I'm not too enthused about it since I'm scared of heights. He said that it would be fun, but it would probably have to wait until after he took his boards. I don't want to distract him from his boards, but I do want to spend some time with him in May too, not just June. He still has 2 more years of school. I'm wondering if I should even bother with getting closer to him, since we'd only be able to spend about a month together before he goes back to school. I would be willing to give a long distance relationship a try, and fly out to that state once a month or so to see him, but I don't know if he would be open to it, since school is his priority, as it should be.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 May 2016):
 You only went out once, so no I really don't think it would be a good idea to enter in to a LDR, I mean it is difficult enough when a couple do LDR after being together for a while, but it just would not work to begin a relationship. His priority at the moment seems to be school, you tried last year but you both threw in the towel. Yes you still keep in touch but it sounds like he does not want anything to serious from you. It sounds like you like him more than he does you.
Timing was always wrong for you two and life always got in the way, it sounds like it was just not meant to be. I can see why you want to spend some time with him, but he has made it clear that he won't have the time. Yes you may spend a month together and have a great time, but I fear that it would end their and you would get hurt from this. I think you should give this one a miss.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 May 2016):
 Honestly I would not bother if I were you. LDRs are hard enough to carry on when both people are delirious with enthusiasm, when either one's enthusiasm is lukewarm, it's a still birth.
I am sorry but it does not sound like this guy has enough interest for you to change his negative opinion, which he already expressed, about an LDR.
It is true that often our love life must take a backseat to work, studies and career, but at the same time it is also true that when there's a will there's a way and a KEEN interest will always find a way.
Your interest is keen enough to have already made you devise a strategy to make things possible : you have decided you would fly out once a month ( ..taking upon yourself , btw, all the costs, physical effort, planning and general trouble of travelling, while he is sitting on his keister ? Uhm ).
His interest does not sound as keen. OK, you both had other things planned, but, one date in a whole summer ? Come on, we are talking a whole season, 3 months, I doubt that you both had to travel for 3 months. I guess that , more simply, your date was nice and he enjoyed it enough- but not enough to make any particular adjustment in his routine to make anotehr one possible before going back. If he is a suitor, definitely he is not an ardent one, and I doubt he would become more ardent with the distance.
Maybe you have not noticed, but you are already sweating it a bit too much than you should given the current premises. Why proposing an activity that would be fun for HIM, but that you are far from enthused about, since you are afraid of heights ? ... Are you tryng to allure him and " bribe " him with his favourite things to win his reluctance ? ...
I'd let him be as reluctant as he wants - and wait for someone more appreciative to show up. Even if you press for an LDR and he says yes, ( doubtful, but you never know ) the shape of things to come is that it would befall on you to do all the work to keep things going.
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