A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and a guy were dating for about six months we were never in an official relationship but spent a lot of time together and were exclusive. He recently ended things with me and I feel so heartbroken. He said he still wanted to remain friends but I feel he was just saying this to make me feel better about him ending it suddenly. I know I couldn't be friends with him anyway it would hurt too much. We haven't had any contact in nearly three weeks and I miss him, we spoke eveyday so going from that to having no communication whatsoever is really hard for me. I know no contact is best for both of us, I just feel like I'm not going to be able to get over him, I can't stop thinking about him and reminiscing. Any tips on how to move on? Am I doing the right thing to keep my distance from him?
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (8 May 2016):
 Yes OP you're doing the right thing. The only way that you will be able to get over this guy, would to be to continue doing what you're doing. Yes its going to hurt not speaking to him every time you miss him, think about him, reminisce . . . but that's only natural. No one ever said it would be easy but in time you will find that its totally worth it.
A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (8 May 2016):
 Hi,
you are doing the right things already, but try not to be in a position whereby you are over-thinking about things, about him too much, or by not doing anything at all, because you feel so down about your break up.
It's absolutely normal and fine to grieve the death of any break up, especially if you really liked, cared or loved the person who left, but it's equally important not to let it consume you constantly.
Grieving is important though, because it's through grieving that we actually start to heal and feel better over time.
If you supress your feelings, this isn't healthy and will moreoften than not, lead to unresolved feelings in the future.
These unresolved feelings, could take hold within future relationships and prove to be a real issue.
Try to spend time with your family and friends, so that you don't find yourself constantly thinking of your ex bf.
The fact is though, whilst it's important to keep your distance from your ex bf, as much as possible, in order to find closure and move forward in your life, it's equally important to think and grieve if you feel that you want to or have to, for whatever reason.
With time you will definitely heal and things that appear really painful and hard now, will appear less difficult, nor as painful with time, to the point where you'll not be sad anymore and come to realise, that things worked out for the best.
Life is full of learning experiences and important lessons and nothing that happens to us, is ever really a waste of time, because we actually learn and grow from it.
Look at this experience in your life, as a lesson learnt and something that you can find growth and strength from.
Be strong and know that you will be ok and that you'll get through this.
All the best!
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue +, writes (8 May 2016):
 Yes and from what you post are doing a very good job at doing so. It's just as hard as it is tempting not to send a quick txt etc. But you have to stay strong for the sake of your own self preservation. Not sure if you are doing it or not but resist having a look at his Facebook page , if he has one. Get social to try help take your mind off things. A bit cliche but time does heal all wounds. Not much else you can do :)
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