A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys, just need some help on a situation to see if I am overreactingMy boyfriend and I have been together for 3 yearsAbout a year into the relationship my bf had this friend who I had actually known since I was little but we weren't really friends, we just knew each other.Anyway, he was quite good friends with my bf until one day he said to my bf -"I don't understand why you're with her, she's ugly anyway" My bf told me (he was acting weird and I knew something was up so made him tell) and of course I was really upset and from that moment on I didn't like that guy.Neither did my bf, or so he told me.About 2 years into our relationship, some guy I knew spread a not very nice rumour about me which I don't really want to go in to but basically it wasn't true. I told my bf and he believed me but this 'friend' of his, the one who said I was ugly, told my bf he didn't believe me and that he thought I was lying and the rumour was trueOnly found this out because one of my friends who knows him told meAnyway, cut to present day - my bf hadn't seen this guy in ages but now all of a sudden they've become great pals again and he's planning to meet up with him next weekI really don't like this friend of his because I know he always seems to say horrible things about me, like he has something against me, and to be honest I don't know why my bf even likes himLike if one of my friends said my bf was ugly I wouldn't speak to her anymore, let alone spend time with her!Am I over reacting? Should I just let it go? I don't want to control who my bf can be friends with but this guy seems particularly nasty and hostile towards me Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (8 May 2016):
 He is a guy. Guys aren't like us females who actively stand up for the people we love, most just tend to not get involved. That's what I've come to learn. A lot of guys I know would rather not get in the centre but they'd rather just befriend both sides knowing that they don't get along with each other. Is it messed up? Most females would think so however, I guess at some point one might come to realize that we can be friends with whomever we choose to be friends with. Yes it may seem like a slap in the face to you but your guy is friends with this other guy because they have things in common. It's quite obvious that your boyfriend doesn't agree with his friends' opinion of you. Perhaps next time I'd say to your boyfriend, "Don't tell me what he said about me, tell me what you said to defend me." Good luck OP.
A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (8 May 2016):
 I agree, I would give a wide birth to someone that dissed my partner in such a way buy guys tend to forgive,forget and move forward somewhat easier than women. Who knows what will transpire when they meet up, maybe your bf will bring it up, maybe not. I would however be making it clear that if he chooses to resurrect the friendship you trust that he will step in and defend your honour should he speak ill off you again and that you have no desire to socialise with him in any way so please don't put you in a position to be having to say no to being asked to do so.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (8 May 2016):
 Seems like you BF knows YOU well enough to not trust what the "friend" says and to not buy into the guy's negativity about you.
My guess is... this friend is jealous of you and your BF's relationship. So he tells your BF yo are ugly, to see if he can create drama or a wedge, THAT didn't work, so he tried to tell your BF that you must have been lying etc. THAT didn't work either... and your BF stopped hanging out with him.
Maybe this guy have learned that your BF loves you and that he likes his friend too (despite the negativity) so if I were you I'd TRUST your BF to handle this in an appropriate manner.
The friend DOESN'T have to like you, he doesn't HAVE to find you pretty. HE DOES have to RESPECT the relationship and I DO think your BF will nip any drama from this guy in the bud.
And honestly, WHY gives a flying FART what this friend think of you? You are NOT dating the friend. And your BF has PROVEN that he will stick up for you.
Guys sort out drama like this QUITE differently than women.
I'd just keep an eye out. I think telling the BF he can't be friends with the guy again is more about YOU than it is about your BF.
So trust that your BF can handle this.
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