A
female
age
30-35,
*opelessXO
writes:*OP's own title*My mom always says that I can tell her anything. So two weeks ago I told her that I was gay. She took it okay but she thinks that it's just a phase and that I'm not sure. I'm positive that I like girls and every time I tell her that she doesn't believe me. She's the only one that knows but I'm thinking about telling one of my best friends. I asked her opinion on that and once again she said, "are you sure that you're gay?" I'm sick of her asking me that, because I do know for sure and don't try to tell me that I'm too young. What do you think I should do? Should I tell my friend whom I trust or should I wait a little while. And how do I get my mom to stop saying that and get her to believe me?Thanks for reading.
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reader, hopelessXO +, writes (31 March 2010):
hopelessXO is verified as being by the original poster of the question My parents are divorced and I haven't seen my dad in years. I don't have any siblings. It's just my mom and I.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2010): I think it's great that you told your mom, that must have been a big thing for you to do. And it's good to hear that she took it okay. But it must be annoying when she keeps asking if you are sure you are gay. You only told her a couple of weeks ago though, so while she may not have a problem with what you told her, she may still be trying to adjust to the idea. In time, and as you carry on with your life, she may come round to the idea more and stop asking that question. I don't think you can really do or say anything else to prove it to her, but just carry on as normal and give her time. You have told her you are gay, so now she knows. It is up to her to get used to that knowledge now, and it may take a bit of time. I know it must be hard, but try not to let it irritate you too much when she asks if you are sure. Just calmly reply that you are sure, and stick to your guns. I'm sure she will be fine eventually.
As for telling your friend, if you feel you can trust her then I don't see any reason why you shouldn't tell her, if that is what you wish to do. But just bear in mind that there is always the possibility that they might tell other people. So as long as you are okay about that risk, and could deal with it if it happened, then I think it is okay. If your friend is trustworthy though, then that probably won't happen anyway.
Just as a final thought though, people may have different reactions if you tell them you are gay. Most people will hopefully be totally fine. But occasionally, there might be the odd person who isn't. I'd just like to say though that as long as you are comfortable with who you are, and are happy with your sexuality, then you should hold your head up and not let other people's opinions affect you, whether they are good or bad. Your opinion is what really matters, so be true to yourself, and other's just may follow. I hope that makes sense! Good luck. x
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (31 March 2010):
 There's nothing wrong with being gay, and you know whether or not you're attracted to girls, but I WILL tell you this. I'm totally straight but when I was your age I wondered if I was gay. What I'm saying is that perhaps your mom thinks that you're going through a phase because a lot of young people go through similar phases. You know you like girls, but you can see where your mom is coming from.
Your mom is probably in denial, but I'm sure she still loves you and she seems caring (you can tell her anything).
I feel like you need to confide in someone who understands and listens to you. It must be really frustrating that your mom doesn't seem to "get it." If you trust your friend, and she's a decent person who wouldn't condemn you for being gay, then you should tell her if you feel comfortable.
If your friend is truly your friend, and a decent person, then she'll accept you and stand by you if you come out to her. Anyone who would turn their back on a friend sucks. I would stand by my friend if he/she were to come out to me.
If I may ask, where is your dad? Are your parents still together? Have you talked to your dad about this? Do you have siblings? Do they know?
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