A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am loyal to my wife and I do work very hard (80+ hours a week) to provide for my family. I am Nice to be with, a good lover and a strong sex drive. How ever I am soo frustrated because we have sex once a month. I expect my day to end with a nice spicy touch but Oh no..She always have some complain...At least she can create a romantic scene for us to enjoy when I do get home.. However, it is always one excuse or the other. I am so frustrated I will let it all out to her this weekend..I now see why some nice guys do cheat. It very tough when you work so hard, body aches and no love to sooth you yet you sleep with someone in bed who is more like a log of wood..Should i cheat? I will not be happy tough..But what are my options then???
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008): Thank you all for your answers. I work hard M - F and I sure do create time as weel for my kids and wife. Tiredness at time could be a mental barrier. i could get home after a very long day and still have a strong labido. It is not that I am not tired, but I mentally condition my mind through the day were I am looking fwd to meet me wife so badly...I will post a followup to our convesation tomorrow..Thks
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008): Don't cheat, it's the most hurtful pain for one to be betrayed by someone they love and the sad thing is you can never take it back no matter how sorry you are and they will never be able to forget, it ill be a lifetime of pain, of never being able to forget and finding it so hard to forgive. Trust will be gone, resentment and anger will make it hard for you. And if you think you'll just never say anything well.....your just like many other guys. It's cruel to base a relationship on lies. She would have every right to know and to have the choice and decision to stay with someone that is not faithful. Think about it. Really think about it. I hope that you make the right choice. Because the word mistake is just an excuse. It's always a choice.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (25 October 2008):
 Do not cheat !!! Your resentment has built to a high level. The more you keep it inside the more the thoughts will ruminate in your head. You must talk to your wife. If you can not work it out between the two of you then bring in a therapist. Cheating will not help.
I have to say this. If you really work 80 hours a week then you're putting all your eggs in one basket. Maybe you shouldn't work 80 hours a week. When was the last time you took her on a date. It is impossible to work that much and be a good partner. If it takes that much work on your end then you might be living above your means. You expect her to melt into your arms when you come through the door but she hardly has a chance to know you anymore. You're becoming a stranger. I have a question I hope you can answer? How much is your family income? Please answer.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): Communication is very important. Talk to your wife. Go for counseling. Maybe consider sex therapy. What ever you do, forget about cheting, it will only cause more problems and hurt. If all else fails, get a divorce and find somebody else. Don't cheat, it is not worth it.
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A
female
reader, asian tealeaf +, writes (25 October 2008):
 buddy, u have ALL the options in the world available to u, with the exception of cheating. communicate to ur wife,without sounding like ur whining, how u feel about this, get her feelings about the situation and perhaps with luck, her valid reasons for not wanting to have sex with u more etc,if ur still dissatisfied with her answers, u can jerk ur cock off, to satisfy ur urge, u could bring up to her ur wanting to have sex with other women and see if shes okay with that, a lot of men i know do discuss this with their wives although albeit, its a risky discussion that could go terrribly wrong, most likely will, or, u can be patient and understanding and try to work with her on this issue, help her out so her libido will come back etc, or, u can leave her. and then sow ur wild oats as u please with no guilt. yes. that is an option. if ur soo miserable then u will do whatever u have to. if u cheat, u scar her for life.and the spite and hate she will return to u will be more grief then its worth. leaving her, she will be hurt. she will cry. so will u. but most people are resilient enough to get back on the horse and move forward. u have options but for most men its just easier to cheat and still have their cake and eat it too. a real man does not think with his throbbing dick. ( dont worry, ur dick wont shrivel up from lack of vaginal penetration!!) a real man whos LOGICAL will assess the situation at hand, get the facts and do the right think. not take short cuts (like cheating) and keep mum about it and pretend alls well. if it were the opposite way around and it was u with the low libido and her with thehigh sex drive and she was contemplating cheating on u to be sexually happy, hmmmmmmmm. what would ur feelings be on the matter? a lot of men would be looking for the nearest machete and a noose, chop off the lovers cock, and hang the cheating whore.ur just better off whacking off to porn that suits ur fetishes, at least ur not cheating on her. but, since ur the one with the issue here u need to approach her tactfully, and compassionately, and finger out her reasons. without communication, without TRUST, u have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!!!!, indeed, it takes two to communicate, and why she has not approached u and told u why shes not feeling sexually inclined is not by any means fair to u. but somethings probably really bothering her, maybe shes nervous to tell u, maybe she does not feel sexy and so she does not want to have sex with u etc. many reasons, but someone has to step down a notch and approach the other. looks like it will be u. good luck dear sir hope u work things out amicably.whatever the conclusion may be. be a man. dont cheat. but take other steps as hard as they may be. to either make things better between u both, or, get ur marriage annulled. and move on to where the bush seems wetter on the other side.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): This is one of the obstacles that come with being married.Sure,the easy option here would be to go out and get what you need elsewhere.But the fact that its easy doesnt make it the right choice.If you do it,your marriage will only get worse.Marriage is a commitment,and like any other commitment there are times where you will have to really work to keep things together.Please,if you have not done so yet...talk to your wife.Let her know exactly how you feel.Dont let it turn into a shouting match,just take a quiet moment to sit down and really explain to her how you feel right now.Talk together about finding a way to overcome this,a way that you both can agree on.Losing sexual interest is a common problem in married couples,but it can be worked through if you communicate with each other.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): it's possible your wife may feel just as you do. how would you feel if she considered cheating on you? would it be ok for her then if it's ok for you? just talk with her-cheating is so not the answer! best wishes to you both!
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A
female
reader, Gretchen24mt +, writes (25 October 2008):
 Cheating is never the answer, nobody deserves to be cheated on, so please don't go cheating on your wife. You cheating on your wife is also cheating on your children. Think about it. Talk to your wife.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): you need to have a serious talk with her, but don't be condescending!! use phrases like "i feel..." "it hurts me that we dont...." etc. Cheating will only cause drama, and make things even worse. Then you'd be getting absolutely no sex from your wife at all. Ask her kindly and gently what would put her in the mood, maybe there's something you could do to get her in the mood. I know you're tired, but communicate and find out--maybe something is bothering her and she needs to talk. Maybe she feels you are already cheating, and doesn't feel wanted, so she doesn't give you much sex. Maybe she really is tired, or not in the mood. Communicate, communicate, communicate! Cheating would definitely make you feel guilty, and that could maybe lower your sex drive because of nerves. Please don't cheat!!
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